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Monthly Archives: January 2014

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Erin McGathy!

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Totally Laime Podcast

Episode 209

She’s a writer and comedian – you know her from her hilarious podcast “This Feels Terrible” and her frequent appearances on “Harmontown”, the lovely ERIN MCGATHY is back to discuss her recent trip to Scotland (and engagement!) why Elizabeth’s inbred theory might not hold much water, how Andy may have crossed the line when showing her pornography, and lastly she offers a new perspective on handling jealousy of other people’s success. Enjoy!

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Two Mommies w/ Erin Collier!

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Totally Mommy Podcast

Episode 4

Elizabeth’s childhood friend and mom to 2.5 yr. old Scout, Erin Collier comes on Totally Mommy to discuss The Good: Scout becoming her own person; Elizabeth excited to meet Baby Oprah~ The Bad: Elizabeth peeing her pants a little bit when she sneezes; Scout throwing tantrums, and The Funny: Andy eating cheezits in their childbirth class, Scout copying mommy’s potty mouth. Then Erin discusses the process of becoming a mom with her wife, Brooke. Lastly, Elizabeth and Erin offer their unqualified advice to listener questions! Enjoy!

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Andy Is A Monster!

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Totally Married Podcast

Episode 134

Elizabeth and Andy discuss his recent misunderstood behavior that doesn’t shine him in the best light before answering listener questions about dealing with a difficult sister in law when traveling, financial responsibility with dog ownership, what to do about an invitation to a disastrous wedding, how to move on from a devastating break up and remain a good friend to those who are in happy relationships, what to do about a friendship that has gone south when you are owed money, and lastly, how do Elizabeth and Andy navigate meals when they have such different tastes/diets? Enjoy!

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An Open Letter To Chelsea Peretti @ Her Future Dog

Yankee - a pup I pulled from a shelter and adopted out to a great home vie The Mutt Scouts

Yankee – a non-shedding pup I pulled from a high-kill shelter and adopted out to a great home.

Hi Chelsea~

I don’t think you know who I am, but we’ve met a few times over the years. I’m a big fan of your work (ugh… Sorry, that’s so cliche but true!) I think you are very talented and funny and the few times we’ve interacted you’ve been cool with just the right amount of weird. Point is, I like and respect you.

One of those times we met-ish was when my friend and I were walking our dogs around the reservoir and you were walking with someone I know. We stopped and chatted and you were really enamored with both my dog and my friend’s dog. Both of our dogs fit the description of the sort of dog you’re looking to… well, to obtain. I’m really excited for you – I can’t really put into words the amount of joy my girl Ruby has brought into my life!

This here letter is in response to an email I got from one of my podcast listeners titled “Help Save Chelsea Peretti From Buying A Dog!” They sent it to me because they know I’m passionate about dog rescue. At first I thought, there’s not much I can do, it’s your choice and I’m over the days of being pushy and vocally judgmental to people who choose to buy versus rescue. Also, I’m aware that I’m a total hypocrite pushing rescue on people (more on that later) but after listening to the podcast in which you discussed it, I wanted to let you know about my experience with buying a dog as someone who has dog allergies. I think it might help.

Here are the things you said you want in your future pup:

1. You have dog allergies so you need a hypoallergenic dog.
2. You want a cool medium sized dog who will hike with you but doesn’t need massive amounts of exercise because you are busy and travel a lot.
3. You want your dog to be pretty/cute (I get it and I appreciate your honesty :))

A little history from moi:
I have dog allergies but never really went to an allergist for them. I grew up with dogs, shedding dogs, and it was never a problem until I turned about twenty.

Seven years ago when my then boyfriend (now husband) and I moved in together, we decided we wanted some puppy love in our lives. Knowing I was allergic, and not really even being aware at all about dog rescue and how important it is, I immediately googled “hypoallergenic dogs” which led me to several websites that claimed to sell a type of dog that I wouldn’t be allergic to. I bought a dog from a “breeder” after talking to her on the phone, although I’m now certain that this was a woman from a call center representing one of the thousands of massive puppy mills that supplies these so called “hypoallergenic” dogs.

Our lil Ruby was shipped to us when she was 8 weeks old. We picked her up from the airport and instantly fell in love.

She weighed about 4 pounds. Three days later I was a sneezing, snotting, asthma attack having mess of a puddle. This lil tiny “hypoallergenic” thing made me feel like I was going to die, and honestly, I could have. I went to an allergist in a  desperate panic and I had to start medication as well as start getting allergy shots immediately and didn’t stop for over 5 years. It made my allergies A LOT better and now I’m only mildly allergic to Ruby – we bathe her frequently – but it’s totally manageable. I’m still extremely allergic around shedding dogs.

PS. I reaaallly want to go into my entire story with Ruby – how she turned me into a dog lover and got me involved in dog rescue and that the fact that I bought her instead of adopted her is a great source of shame for me and I’m aware that I’m a total hypocrite preaching about rescue but it’s something I’m crazy passionate about so I don’t fucking care…  but this is about allergies so I’ll stick to that.

My allergist also informed me that there is NO SUCH THING as a hypoallergenic dog. I’d been duped by a sales gimmick. Anyone who uses that as a sales pitch is a sleazy liar. Which I’m definitely not surprised by because 99.99 percent of “breeders” are pieces of shit who contribute to massive amounts of suffering and see these animals as dollar signs or commodities. But I digress.

Here’s the rub: You and I are unfortunately allergic to a dog’s saliva and dander, not their fur. Having a “non shedding” dog – one who has hair instead of fur – is definitely a huge help because the dander and saliva is more contained on the actual dog instead of spread all over your house and clothes. Aside from the shedding vs. non-shedding, There is no type of fur or breed of dog that will make your allergies better or worse.

On your podcast you complained that rescue people are always saying, “it’s a mix” but didn’t know what kind of breed mix it was and you feel that buying a puppy from one of these hypoallergenic breeders will guarantee a less allergic experience because you’ll know what you are getting. We hear this as a defense of buying a dog versus adopting all the time: I want to know what I’m getting… Well, The truth is that there are just two types of dogs when it comes to allergies: shedding and non shedding. You can tell a shedding dog from a non shedding dog very easily by just looking at it. You’ll know what you’re getting. I can eyeball a dog and in an instant tell you what you’re dealing with. All breeders selling “hypoallergenic” dogs are ALSO selling mixes who happen to be non shedding, they are absolutely no different from a rescue dog who is non shedding.

Your wish list #2:
A cool medium sized dog who will hike but doesn’t need tons of exercise because you are busy and travel a lot.

The beauty of adopting a dog instead of buying a puppy is that, actually,  you know EXACTLY what you are getting. Also, if you don’t have time for a high energy exercising needing big dog, you definitely don’t have time for a puppy. My unsolicited advice: Adopt an awesome medium sized dog who is over 1 or 2 years old. You’ll know a lot more about that dog’s personality and needs than buying or adopting a puppy.

#3: Pretty/Cute

Hey, guess what happens ALL THE TIME? Someone with allergies or a kid who wants a dog for a minute or people who are ill equipped to care for a dog but just HAVE TO HAVE ONE because they are so cute! Those people go out and buy a dog from a pet store or breeder or online (again 99.99% of which come from horrific puppy mills) and then a week or two later decide they can’t keep the dog and bring it to the shelter where it has a high (at least 50%, often way more) chance of being killed. The dog in this photograph below was one of those dogs. She was a few weeks old and had been at the shelter for two weeks, no one had pulled her and her time was running out. I took her home, spruced her up and voila:

She was adopted to the best couple ever and she actually is one of the dogs you were gushing over on the reservoir.

My point is, the dogs in the shelters and rescues ARE THE SAME DOGS as the ones you see online or in pet stores. They are all the same amount of pretty, just might need a little sprucing to get to that pretty place. imagine being thrown into a prison for no crime whatsoever other than the people who care for you are irresponsible and being terrified, not eating, not sleeping, and oh yeah, your three roommates keep shitting on you. You probably wouldn’t look as gorgeous as you did the other night at the Golden Globes 🙂

Also, quickly – Yes, there are TONS of chihuahua’s and pit bulls in shelters/rescues because those breeds have it the hardest in terms of people not spaying/neutering and/or buying them as short term accessories, but there are probably hundreds of the exact type of dog you are looking for in the shelter/ rescue system in Los Angeles as I write this. Here are a few up for adoption recently, all taken from the LA North Central Shelter Facebook Page:

These types of dogs are euthanized every day – in fact, about 250 dogs are euthanized every day in LA city – puppies, pure breds, you name it. The reason us rescue people are so annoying is because we have many times fallen in love with a dog in a shelter and tried desperately to find it a home, a temporary home, to raise funds to put it in boarding to buy time but we just can’t do it. Then a friend of a friend goes and buys the exact same type of dog from a breeder and the dog we fell in love with is killed. I personally couldn’t take the emotional toll anymore so I try to advocate for rescue instead of get my hands dirty in it these days. Rescuers get a bad wrap but to me they are saints.

SO! Unsolicited advice #2: Fuckin’ ADOPT that dog, do not buy. Do not line the pockets of breeders and allow them to thrive in a cruel business when your pup is sitting on death row in a LA shelter or in a rescue. You’ll be saving his/her life as opposed to contributing to a horrific and easy to avoid problem.

To summarize:
1. There’s no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog. Know that you might need to get allergy shots regardless of whether you buy from a breeder or adopt a non shedding dog – they are all the same, there’s not one that’s better than the other in terms of allergies.
2. Do not get a puppy. Adopt a slightly older dog and you’ll really know what you are getting.
3. All shelter and rescue dogs are the same as the pretty princess dogs you see online. They just need a bath and a day outside of the hell they’ve been living in.

Lastly – my biggest unsolicited advice of all!

My numero uno suggestion for you is to foster a dog for a rescue! This would be awesome on so many levels. First of all, you could take that dog for a trial run/test spin (don’t mention this as a motive to the rescue though, just say you want to foster a dog who is non shedding) All rescues are desperate for fosters and will jump at the chance to save another life. Secondly, foster families always have first dibs on actually adopting the dog. You’ll get to see if that dog fits into your life, how bad the allergies really are, and maybe there will be a love connection or not. To me it’s a major win win.

Here is Willow – a non shedding dog who was so weak she could barely hold her head up when we got to her. Luckily we had an awesome couple who wanted to foster her and nurture her back to health:

They fell in love and adopted her two weeks later. Here is Willow (and me, visiting!) after a year in her new home:

I have some connections in the rescue world and am SO HAPPY to email intro you to a few people if that’s something that interests you. I hope you’ll consider that as an option.

* Note: Aside from the North Central photos, all the dogs pictured here are non shedding dogs I pulled from high kill shelters and placed in loving homes when I worked with/for The Mutt Scouts. Statistically speaking, half of those would have been euthanized had their families not chosen to adopt.

Sorry if this was super preachy and annoying. I sort of hate myself for doing this but I can’t help it.

All the best,
Elizabeth