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Mommy Violation w/Amy Biedel!

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Totally Mommy Podcast

Episode 22

Elizabeth dear friend and doula/childbirth educator Amy Biedel is back! They discuss the Good/Bad/Funny (Toddler beds and sleeping through the night! Buzzcuts and bad doctor’s visits! Pacifier shame and hilariously smart three year olds!) Then they give their unqualified advice to an important listener question regarding fertility and surrogacy. Enjoy!

13 Comments!

carrie bergin says:

Ok I have some insight on the acid reflux/fussy baby/zantac issue.
Don’t stop giving it to her, like you stated, it does neutralize the acid so if you stop she will have a burning throat. Ouch. Also, check with your doctor, but I was told (both of my babies were breast fed and had to take it as well) that it takes a week or 2 for it to take affect. You need to find that out, because if it is starting to help her and then you stop, you are moving backwards weeks. Also, has anyone suggested that you keep her at an incline most of the time when she lays down? That helped us, and so did swaddling. My 2nd baby was swaddled until she was too big for the blankets. It helped calm her down and they like to feel enclosed. I also agree with the chiropractor…could work miracles. Maybe you should find another one that specializes in infants/babies. I am not an expert, I am not a doctor, take what you want and leave the rest, but I have been there. Just keep on keepin’ on and you are doing great!! love all of the podcasts! Oh, and p.s. I am dying to hear about your first post-baby sexual experience…..:) took me about 5 months to feel normal in that department.

Ivy says:

I have some info about reflux. Do you have your baby on probiotics? they make infant probiotics that will help the the relux. also, i’ve heard there is a very gentle type of chiropractic care for infants that instantly helps acid reflux, it’s called NUCCA. i listen to these doctor talk about all the babies they have helped with reflux using this treatment. i hope this helps. love your podcast and your laugh.

Kels837 says:

I was going to say this too – my daughter is 3 weeks older than Baby Oprah and when you talk about Ops, I feel like you’re talking about my Nora! She was SUPER colicky the first couple months, but she has really mellowed out and it is awesome. One thing I used were Gerber Soothe colic drops and they are a probiotic. It really helped regulate her digestive system – a lactation consultant told me about them and I honestly think they helped. She didn’t have reflux, but from the way she cries I thought she did – I took her to the dr a couple times and called the nurses constantly because I thought something was wrong. But I just think that’s how she cries!! It sucks – I totally feel your pain. And p.s. she is a good sleeper too, so at least we have that going for us. :) The hard part is dealing with her AND my 2-year old…I so hoped that baby #2 would be more laid-back!!

It was so awesome having Amy on – I love ALL your guests on Totally Mommy. I wish we had done what she did and kept our two-year old, Lucy, in her crib longer because getting her to stay in bed has been a total nightmare for the past 6 months. Uggghh…there is ALWAYS a stage!! xoxo

Masha says:

The discussion about the chiropractor was difficult to listen to because I can only imagine how violated you felt, Elizabeth. I would highly recommend you report him to whatever organization he’s part of. Even if his touching of you was completely accidental, he needs to be extremely careful to avoid that accidental touching if he knows that sometimes he’ll be doing his chiropractic work only inches away from a breast. Or he should tell the woman that accidental touching may occur but that he’ll try his very best to avoid it and if she’s uncomfortable at all to tell him and he’ll change positions or something. On top of all of that, the way he gave you advice about something he’s not an expert in and dismissed you was highly unprofessional.

I once accompanied my grandmother to the doctor and the doctor was rude and dismissive of her. She didn’t realize it because she isn’t fluent in English, but I was outraged so I did my best to go through the proper channels to report him. Nothing came of it because he’s an independent physician but I felt good that I tried to stand up for my grandmother. I think you’ll feel good if you try to stand up for yourself.

The last thing I wanted to say was that I know you have the best of intentions regarding taking Baby Oprah to a chiropractor, but the risks of it don’t outweigh the benefits. The following is an article from a doctor named Steve Novella who is an extremely compassionate doctor (I’ve met him and heard him give talks on a number of occasions) who writes a lot about different medical practices, the extent to which they are based in evidence, and also the harms to patients that come from treatments that aren’t based in evidence:
http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/chiropractor-breaks-babys-neck-a-risk-vs-benefit-analysis/
His main point is that there’s no evidence that chiropractors do anything better than what a physical therapist can do, but there are additional risks (such as breaking bones or the baby’s neck). Since there are no additional benefits, the additional risk isn’t worth it. I hope some moms might find this article helpful.

peggy says:

Elizabeth,
I understand that you want to move on, but I think this is theperfect instance of when a bad yelp review is totally deserved. No new mom should be condescended to like that! So awful. Don’t you wish someone could have warned you beforehand? I think it is totally appropriateif you just recount the situation and let other moms decide whether they want to put themselves through that.

CHRISTINE! says:

Two things: report the shit out of that chiropractor. He did a major no bueno.

Second thing: I was on an airplane where the flight attendant was so condescending to this family (mom, dad, toddler, and infant) that I reported her when I got off the plane. I don’t know what happened to the flight attendant, I hope she was fired, because it was like her only goal was to make the mother’s hard day harder. The mother was constantly apologizing for her crying baby and saying, “I’m sorry you got stuck on the plane with the baby, we’ve been travelling for 20 hours.” (it was around Christmas time and snowing, so there were a lot of delays not to mention the fact we had to wait for an hour on the runway)

All it taught me was be nice to people with kids and babies. Most decent humans are already worried their kid is going to freak the fuck out, don’t make it harder on them.

Jacquie F. says:

Since no one has mentioned it yet Janet Varney’s podcast is called The JV Club you can find it on Nerdist. I still remember your episode from that Elizabeth and I actually found out about your podcast from that one (and Janet also recommended it when I wrote her an e-mail too!).

I can really relate to not sticking up for myself in situations like that. I’m always afraid to make waves and I always feel bad about it later for not doing things differently. I’m not sure where I get it from because my mom is the complete opposite, she is such a strong person and doesn’t take shit from anyone. I wish I could be a stronger person and not be so worried about making everyone else happy even if they’re trying to take advantage of me.

Lisa says:

Just listened to the listener question about surrogacy and fertility. I’d encourage the listener to check out resources like Resolve.org and CreatingAFamily.org for more information on surrogacy and fertility. I appreciate the advice you gave her regarding making peace with her decision. However, that’s so much easier said than done! I’d encourage her to consider finding a supportive community of women who have been through similar issues, whether it’s online or in-person. Infertility blogs, infertility forums, or Twitter are great places to start.

amy says:

I’m so happy you mentioned these resources. Resolve has been a lifesaver to me for years.

pam says:

Hi Elizabeth,
For what it’s worth, my son had terrible colic when he was tiny. He cried all the time and puked like it was his job. That was 8 years ago. He is now, and has been for years, just the most deliciously sweet and kind and happy little dude. Just wanted you to know it doesn’t last forever. Also, I have heard you mention The Happiest Baby On The Block. We discovered this when we were in the trenches and found it to be a fucking MIRACLE even though it really only worked about 70% of the time. Hang in there!
Pam

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