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So Grateful For Hotels!

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Totally Married Podcast

Episode 278

Elizabeth and Andy discuss Gratitude on the heels of Thanksgiving before giving their unqualified advice to a bunch of great listener questions about whether being fat is a deal breaker in a marriage, how to navigate a change of heart in a partner regarding becoming parents, whether or not to tell a current boyfriend that a friend is actually an ex, what to do to connect as a married couple before having children, how to get your husband to have your back in public, what to do about a boyfriend who is dragging his feet in the proposing department, and how to be there for your wife who is going through fertility treatments? Enjoy!


Maureen says:

To the LW considering telling her BF about Derek,

I have actually been on both sides of this scenario, and I really encourage you to tell you BF about dating Derek in the past.

It will be much more hurtful when he finds out that you and Derek have history if it comes as a surprise.

It’s mortifying to learn that everyone but you knew that you and Derek slept together in the past. It

Tell him in a neutral tone, don’t say anything regarding how it was (your BF will obsess about whatever you say), and then have a laugh about how weird it was/is.

Good luck!

Rachel says:

It’s funny that you mentioned Lindy West and Dan Savage. I’m about halfway through her book right now (which is excellent! I bet you’d like it) and she talks a lot about weight and all the hatred and judgement. Dan actually used to be her editor and published really judgmental pieces similar to what you were describing. He didn’t seem to get it even after she tried to explain why what he was saying was so untrue. I’m not sure I explained this super well but I thought the connection between what you said and the story in the book were interesting.

Megan says:

Just listening to some old episodes and Elizabeth you are totally right Re: Eskimo Sisters! What a gross term! Here in Canada the Eskimo is never used any more, let alone like this. You might be interested to know that Eskimo is actually an English bastardization of a dismissive Cree word already, so 2 strikes against it. Inuit people here rejected this term a long time ago and it’s considered a pejorative. In the states, I know that Indigenous folks in Alaska still use it, so that’s up to them, but you can’t ever go wrong using the names of the actual Nations from there. And it is REALLY gross to co-opt the name of a Nation or People for a sexual reference. Thanks for calling that out! One of the reason that I love listening to you guys.

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