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Shark Tankin’ 4 EVA!

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Totally Married Podcast

Episode 279

Elizabeth and Andy discuss whether or not following your dreams is the right advice for everyone, and then they give their unqualified advice to listener questions about whether to respond to a rude and personal FB message from an acquaintance, how to urge a friend to stop constantly complaining to you about her husband, how to participate in your husband’s family relationship when you’re never included, and how to deal with parents’ visits when they are draining and hard to be around? Enjoy!


April says:

This comment isn’t related to this episode, but I just had to share… As an NC resident, the only plus to the recent election was that Roy Cooper defeated Pat McCrory in the governors race. Pat McCrory is the one who signed HB2 into law. The reason I’m only just now posting is because he only conceded today, it was a very tight race. He lost by 10,000 votes. And after a big hissy fit and demanding recounts, he lost. Thank goodness. 🙂

Candace says:

To what you both said regarding the family issue at the end. It’s an unfortunate truth and a bummer when you realize your family members aren’t as great as you thought they were . I wrote to you regarding my family member on episode 277. Thanks for the advice on that episode. Also for shining the light on how to deal with/ handle your family with a different perspective.

Bethany says:

For dealing with your family, here’s my tip: 3 DAY RULE.

I love my parents dearly. LOOOOOOVE THEM. But they can drive me bonkers. I have a 3 day rule. We can only spend 3 days together at a time. If it’s longer than that, then I’m going to need at least a 1 day break in the middle, where I go off to a hotel by myself, or they go off by themselves. The rule is no secret. They know about it and they respect it. It’s a game changer.

Claire says:

Hi Elizabeth and Andy!

I’ve been binge-listening to your Totally Married podcast for a few months now and just finished listening to this episode today. I AM OBSESSED.

I have a thought on the writer-inner whose brother-in-law appears to not want her around. My thought is, that based on what this writer-inner said regarding the brother-in-laws lack of love/dating life the last 8 years, that it isn’t that the brother-in-law doesn’t like the writer-inner, but that he actually doesn’t like hanging around a couple.

Most people have experienced a situation where they’ve had to be in the presence of someone who has something they personally want and have personally failed to get (e.g., pregnancy, a successful career, a boyfriend/girlfriend), so it sometimes becomes easier to avoid coming into contact with those people, rather than deal with the disappointment and insecurity of not quite having that “thing”, whatever that thing may be to that person.

With that said, the writer-inner is still totally justified in feeling upset and annoyed by the exclusion; I just wanted to offer a different point of view that may take the sting out of the situation.

It may be easier for the writer-inner to view the brother-in-laws avoidance of her as a reflection of his insecurity, rather than a reflection of his dislike for her. Sometimes when a person is lonely, it’s simply hard to be around a happy couple.

Considering that I don’t know these people at all, I hope you too, enjoy my unqualified advice 🙂

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