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Hanging By A Thread!

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Totally Married Podcast

Episode 304

Elizabeth and Andy discuss the stresses of life, both self imposed and life imposed, as well as the need for self protection in this crazy world right now. Then they give their unqualified advice to listener questions about how to know if you want a third child or not, and whether to listen to your biological clock or your mental health cues for when it’s time to start trying?


Jacquie F. says:

Haven’t listened to the episode yet this morning but got a random thing to share.

Last week they had Hangin’ With Leo on the youtube show Best of the Worst where they spin a wheel with random VHS tapes people send in and watch the worst videos they have. It was fun to hear you on it Elizabeth after the jokes you’ve made about it, they made a lot of fun of it and eventually chose it as the worst tape they watched that night. I was glad though they didn’t ever make fun of you, just the footage and the celebrity “experts” that were on.

They had it on the wheel before and I was really hoping it would land on it just to hear it after all this time.

Lori F. says:

Hey there I listened to the first part of yesterday’s podcast and girrrrlll….sounds like you need an inspirational slow clap kind of speech. So here it is, I have listened to you and Andy going on 5 years. FIVE YEARS and I love you guys so much. You know why? You are real, and really funny! You have heart, brains, passion, humility, cuteness galore, and stamina! You’ve had two kids in like no time at all….hello! That ain’t easy. And now you are killing it on the professional side. Seems like a lot, but you got this! You will kill all those pitches because you are you and that is what is awesome! So go get ’em girl! You have a whole team of people cheering you on.

DJ says:

Hey E and A!

So let me preface this by saying how much I LOVE your show. I listen every week, and have been submitted a few questions. I am not going to lie, sometimes your political pockets make me feel uncomfortable. While I agree with most of your opinions, I do not like some of the judgmental comments towards people who do not feel the same way. Usually I just ignore it, or skip the political parts, but one comment was made this week that I felt I should comment on. The comment was made that everyone supports gun control except “die hard NRA racists”. I 100% agree in gun control, and I too don’t understand why people oppose “common sense” gun control policies. However, I don’t think it is fair to say people who don’t agree with us are racist.

Comments like this make it hard for me to listen to the political pockets. Not because I don’t agree with your opinions, but because language like this exasperates the divide in the country. We’re not going to change anyone’s opinions with the rhetoric of “agree with me or you are racist” (even if there is truth to this). And I know – it is hard to not judge people who are perpetuating hate, but some people aren’t “woke”. They don’t understand how their behaviors perpetuate systemic inequality. Let’s wake them up, instead of tearing them down.

You need to continue to speak your political beliefs. My goal of this comment is not to censor you. It is imperative we hear other people’s opinions. A large problem today is that people only seek out information which confirms their original opinions (aka people drinking the Fox News cool-aid). However, I am just making a suggestion of possibly refraining from generalizing on the values and core beliefs of people who don’t agree with you (and me). I think your opinions would be WAY more influential if a less judgmental approach was used.

I hope this comes across in a constructive way and not purely a complaint. As a strong female voice I am sure you get too much flax as it is and I am not trying to add on to that. I will continue to listen either way, and support you no matter what. Thanks for all the laughs!

MS says:

To the writer-inner who posted about living with anxiety right now (dirty dishes, feeling tired, etc.) but also feeling the biological clock and wanting to get going on baby-making… I wanted to share a few of my thoughts and experiences.

I agree with Elizabeth and Andy when they said that having kids could exacerbate these feelings, since you have even less time to deal with dishes, etc. But, I will also share my experience. Before I had my baby (15 months old now), I would let dishes and laundry pile up because I COULD. I had so much more free time and if I had to catch up with three loads of laundry on the weekend, no problem. Now with a toddler I do dishes at least twice daily and do laundry every 1-2 days, and I stay on top of it because it can get out of hand so quickly, and there’s no catch up time “later”. We make our time count more now with the kid. 🙂

Also, I’m someone who has been on and off depression medication for two decades. 6 months before my husband and I started trying to conceive, I saw my doctor and we decided to try tapering off my antidepressant so I could be medication-free during my pregnancy. My husband and I both soon saw that being off of medication was not the right fit for me. So, my doctor chose a less harmful medication for me to try and it fit like a glove and was not shown to have a big impact on fetal development. I would have rather been off meds completely, but I tried and found that I am a woman who functions best on antidepressant, and it helped me feel balanced through pregnancy and postpartum and now into motherhood. I just thought I’d share this in case you end up seeking medication, that motherhood can be done even while treating mental illness/difficulties, and if you do start considering a medication, it might be good to discuss with your prescriber a “pregnancy-friendly” choice.

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