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Thanks To Plan B!

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Totally Married Podcast

Episode 322

Elizabeth and Andy discuss family planning and Andy gives Elizabeth an early Christmas gift! Then, many political pockets later (haha) they give their unqualified advice to listener questions about a fiance who isn’t budging on major life choices, how to navigate the subject of religion with a toddler, when you aren’t religious, and how to proceed in a divorce with love and respect and well-being for your child first and foremost. Enjoy!


Anna says:

Thank you so much for giving your perspective on Al Franken! My blood has been boiling on my party’s response to Al Franken. Kate Harding’s article ‘as a liberal feminist’ saying that he shouldn’t resign makes me feel so defeated. It is literally the argument that is being made by the right wing over Roy Moore. Sexual assault cannot be equivocated.

As an influencer in social media and entertainment, I appreciate you observing this moment in time and honoring in front of your audience. It’s necessary and shouldn’t be compromised by the protection of an individual career or politics. Thank you thank you thank you!

Elizabeth says:

Thank you Anna!! I am constantly amazed at how women are thrown under the bus when their rights become inconvenient, even to the political party that claims to have our backs. Instead of mourning the loss of a ‘good guy” in politics, I think let’s instead mourn the loss of god knows how many contributions to society, politics, entertainment, etc. would have been made by women had they not felt disposable time and time again. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone!

Andrea says:

And another woman has come forward to talk about being groped by Franken. This is the thing that we have to keep in mind, these acts aren’t one-offs. As Elizabeth was saying with her assaulter, and as I think we’re all realizing, people who abuse their power do so again and again. He needs to GTFO. I’m super disappointed in the response from Dems on this. I also want to signal boost for WOC because while we’re seeing the way Dems in power are asking women to take a back seat, we’ve been doing this to our black base for generations. We’ve got to be better, full stop. And that’s my political pocket.

Colleen says:

The latest Real Time with Bill Maher (Chelsea Handler as guest) just did about 15 minutes on the Franken topic. They started by discussing the difference between zero tolerance and maximum pumishment. Might find it interesting for an alternate liberal view.

Rachel says:

You said exactly what I wanted to say! There is so much hypocrisy on both sides, that it has become so hard to support either party in any respect because of how much leniency is given in the name of “politics.” There has to be a way for people to all agree that sexual assault is unacceptable, no matter when it happens or by whom.

I was also struck by a friend’s off-hand comment recently that this is way more common in the entertainment/political industry and that it doesn’t represent the rest of the world’s experience. I was so stunned to hear that and was so sad because with all of this conversation, people still think these people are the exceptions. It’s difficult for any victim to come forward, but I can’t imagine coming forward against someone who’s not in the public eye and not having the public’s support as these victims have generally received. That’s the next battleground, in my opinion. I hope your work against the voice coach is going well, Elizabeth!

Mado says:

You were on a roll today! I feel the exact same way about the “beauty tax” of time and money that women must spend to fit in. I use my eyebrows constantly as an example. Naturally, I have thick, messy brows and a full unibrow. I pluck them to perfection. I love the results and am proud that I do the job myself. I enjoy the natural shape they have, albeit “needing” to be cleaned up. But I hate that I MUST do it, in order to be presentable and get ahead professionally. I work in an office, and if we truthfully break it down, I probably wouldn’t be spoken to or fired if I stopped grooming my eyebrows. Nor do I want to stop. But I stopped, I bet some people would ask how I’m doing, or if I was ok (like they do on days I forgo foundation to even out my skin). If I left my eyebrows in a natural state, it may go unsaid, but I would absolutely be looked at differently in the professional world. Because it is not the norm, people would silently wonder what grooming choices say about my work ethic and hygiene. Yet, there are men with ungroomed brows allllll over c-suites everywhere.

Also, for the caller wondering about leaving her partner: do it. All children will be damaged somehow by their parents, to vastly varying degrees. The younger it’s done, the less shocking it will be. Happiness is important for being a good parent. No matter how “normal” you try to be as a family, your child will undoubtedly sense that something is wrong. You can find ways to work well together. I was thrilled when my parents split. Any resentment I harbored towards one or the other was about their individual behaviors, not their divorce. They moved less than a mile from each other while my sister and I were preteens, so we were able to walk between their homes if we wanted. To this day (I’m in my 30s) they are unconvinced, but I am forever thankful that they didn’t “stay together for the kids.”

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