Facebook Ghost!
11.25.13 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 119
E and A discuss the possibility of communication from the beyond thru the billion dollar conglomerate that is Facebook before answering listener questions on whether or not to compromise on a New Years Eve trip, what to do when boyfriend/girlfriend both have twin beds, how to navigate a best friend pulling away, and what to do in a marriage when things look bleak and there’s little hope for change. Enjoy!
20 Comments!
Hi E&A,
Regarding ghosts, I always thought it was B.S. until a an ex-girlfriend of mine died a few years back. We had dated through high school & most of college. Things ended poorly, but we eventually were friends again. A few years later I found out she had cancer. One morning a friend of mine called me up and told me she died. I had plans to go to the funeral in a few days. That night I was sleeping and I remember hearing her voice. It sounded like it was coming from my bedroom door. It sounded like she was trying to get my attention. “Hello hello hello” I clearly recognized her voice. It sounded friendly and like she wanted to talk. Part of me refused to open my eyes, because I didn’t want to see a ghost, I was scared. I knew I heard her, but by the time I opened my eyes to look to the door it was over. So now I wonder was this real or did I have a very vivid dream during an emotional time?
Thanks,
Juan
P.S. I do think Astrology is B.S. If you enjoy it, then have fun. Just don’t make any big decisions based on it.
So reguarding the Facebook ghost…I was told by someone that you can put a hold on your Facebook posts that will wait to post your update until a certain time, I guess you can ‘hold’ a post for up to 6 months. Not sure if thats true or not, I’ve never been able to find an option to put a hold on one of my posts and I’ve never looked into it. I don’t really care that much.
BUT…there was a freind of mine from highschool who died in a car accident and the day after he had passed there was a status update from his Facebook account, something about transporting a patient to another hospital (he worked as an EMT, and actually died when the ambulance was hit by a semi-truck). I TOATALLY believe in ghosts but the update on his Facebook seemed a little too staged. I’m with Andy on this one though, I think that ghosts could eventually use this type of technology as a way of communicating. They gotta keep up with the times too…lol
Think you guys would immensely enjoy this podcast featuring a medium and Dr. Drew’s wife, Susan Pinsky, they explore a recent murder with a family member of the deceased. This one had me on the edge of my seat. Perhapsa good guest for a future Totally Laime episode, could be fascinating?!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/CallingOutWithSusanPinsky
Love you guys and think your advice is usually pretty spot on, but I gotta say I’m totally not cool with the advice you gave the guy with the bipolar wife…
My wife was diagnosed with MS years ago, and there was no way I would ever even consider leaving her because of it. I can’t think of a shittier reason to leave a spouse, especially as mental illnesses (MS includes lots of cognitive and mental crap like depression and impaired cognitive function) is totally outside of the person’s control, and something that is extremely scary for the person to go through. At the core marriage is about commitment, and I think there’s a good reason why so many vows include some variant of “in sickness and in health”. My wife carries a lot of guilt about the ways her condition affects me, if I were to leave her because of it, it would totally crush her self worth. I don’t want to be the one responsible for that.
Bipolar disoder is also pretty treatable from what I understand, I don’t know what the woman in question is doing about it, but maybe a change in medication or lifestyle could make things more bearable for both of you?
I realize it’s a horrible thing to have to go through, and not at all what you thought your life would be like…and not to sound too preachy, but what are we on this planet for if not to bear each other’s burdens, especially family? I know there’s a lot of anger and frustration but at the end of the day, it’s not your wife’s fault. She needs your support.
If course spirits can use FB as well as phone and any media. Minds in spirit are more u limited then those minds believing only in physical communication.
ghosts/astrology i would say are equally eyerolling topics for me when they come up on the show. I’m open to intuition and belief but seriously-neither of those things-astrology and the paranormal seen to have ANY science to back them up-which by now they really should. i’d love to believe in the paranormal and all that fun stuff (I wanted to find Nessie when i was a kid) but until someone can show me the science behind how the day you were born can possibly have ANY effect how you live your life-or until we can get 1 single solitary believable picture of a ghost then i just can’t say i believe in those things. i want to be convinced -it would make life much more interesting-but there has to be repeatable scientific ways to convince the skeptical out there of the validity of those things.
The number of ghost stories that start with “I was laying in bed.” leads me to believe the majority of them are weird brain tricks that happened between being awake and dreaming. That said, I still love to hear ghost stories. I used to work in a mental hospital that was built in 1890 and although I never saw or heard anything I collected a bunch of creepy stories from other staff members. The ones involving the tunnels underneath the building always get my skin crawling.
Warg- I kind of agree with you. I believe that what happens much of the time to people with these experiences are hypnagogic hallucinations. But on the other hand, I have experienced it myself…..lying in bed, and hearing my name called, I was then WIDE awake, and heard it again minutes later- it was soooo very real, and hard for me to now look back and say if it was a hallucination or not.
Hey Elizabeth and Andy, love the podcast!
In reply to the guy with his bipolar wife I thought it might help if I shared my knowledge on the subject. I have three sisters and one brother from my dad’s previous marriage, his ex was bipolar, and now my four siblings are manic depressants/ bi polar. Each has had their own struggle through their lives. I’m happy to say that three of them are doing just fine. My brother did his time in the marines, one of my sisters has her own care taking business and indulges in self enlightenment, and my other sister is going to medical school. Not to say that bipolar disorder is irrelevant, it is a disease, however, it can definitely be treater, those three siblings take their medication and ultimately have a better perspective on life which helps them. However I have four siblings and the last one refuses to treat or even admit she is struggling with bipolar disorder. Consequently she’s had children she cannot support, has developed paranoia schizophrenia (to the point where she thought her child was Satan), and has reached rock bottom with drug abuse several times. All I’m saying is that even if you have a disease you must work at it to have and enjoyable life. It sounds like there is some disconnect between this guy and his wife. I’m not here to make conjectures but all I know is that in a relationship both partners should be walking side by side, using their own legs, one must not push or drag the other behind them.
Thanks! And love the podcast!
- Jake S.
Great episode!
I’ve always wondered about ghosts becoming modern, social-media experimenting types, and I also wonder whether if a young, self-obsessed, generation Y-type died, would ghost selfies become more common?
Instaghost?
Aziz Ansari has a funny bit in his new special that you might enjoy regarding ghosts, as well… it’s on the Netflix, called ‘Buried Alive’.
About ghosts vs astrology - I don’t believe in either, but personally I prefer the ghost talk just cos it’s more fun. You guys debating whether ghosts would use facebook had me rolling (btw, if ghosts existed they would totally be on the fb)!
My Dad passed away in 2010. In 2012, I bought a brand new MacBook Pro. I had it for nearly a year when it suddenly started logging itself into my Dad’s YouTube account. I know my Dad’s YouTube name, but I don’t know his password. I even tried playing around with it to see if I could guess his password - I couldn’t. It doesn’t do this every time I go on YouTube - maybe a few times a month. I have no explanation for this at all. I’ve never used his account, he’s never used my computer.
Wait, hold up. Elizabeth, girl, I don’t get it. Why would the undead be particular about the medium (pun intended) of communication with a loved one? Considering the centrality of social media to everyday communication, in he way the radio used to be, it seems more likely that a ghost would live and work through the machines in our lives. Without a consciousness to displace it seems like spirits would find tech ideal. A physical structure with no will.
A few years ago, a dear friend of mine passed away in a drowning accident. It was very sudden and tragic. His Facebook profile hasn’t been shut down and occasionally his name will pop up on the sidebar as “people you haven’t interacted with in a while”. It’s alarming at first but it’s also a comfort. Is it possible that this mom’s friend misconstrued the “people you may know” pop-up as a friend request?
Hey guys,
I totally agree with James’s comment above. I find it interesting that the gut reaction to the guy who is married to a woman with bipolar disorder is to “bounce.” I’m not judging Andy, because I think we in this society as a whole tend to judge mental illness with less compassion than physical illnesses. We think of them as character flaws or moral failings (think about people with addiction issues, many of whom have mental illnesses that they are subconsciously self-medicating for). Our general lack of understanding of mental health is the reason we have many homeless people now. We would be more outraged if we saw physically handicapped people living under bridges and in boxes, but because many of these people are mentally ill, they are scarier, and we are more likely to turn away and assume they are there because of a moral weakness.
Since the writer says he feels like a parent, he should start looking to change that dynamic. The first thing is to have her evaluated by a professional if he hasn’t already done so, and during her more stable times, discuss her options. Since all medications don’t work for bipolar disorder, she may have to try different ones for awhile to find the right fit. He says she has always been a little flaky. Chances are she went undiagnosed for years, and if he thinks back, he will see it in hindsight. I had a brilliant coworker who was diagnosed after several years and once he was, a lot of things — manic behavior followed by deep depression — made sense.
He probably feels at the end of his rope. He should ask for family support, tell her that she needs to get well so she can be part of her own solution instead of problems he has to “clean up” and try to get back to a partnership instead of a parentship. As unhappy as he is, she is probably just as miserable.
Leaving should be a last option, not a first.
Love your show. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving and be well.
To the people with the twin beds. …push em together, that’s what everyone in Europe does!
Thanks so much for the show!
On the man with the wife struggling with Bipolar Disorder:
This sounds like an incredibly difficult and complicated situation. I honestly don’t know what is right here- there are just so many specific factors that I don’t (and maybe could never) really know about this couple’s situation.
I just want to thank you guys, though, for being so compassionate to the man who wrote in. I completely understand what people are saying about loyalty and also about the need to have empathy for those who are struggling with mental illnesses. But I also think it’s important to remember to have empathy for partners, who may be facing deep, kind of existential questions (about love, one’s own happiness, loyalty, etc.) that some of us may never have to grapple with in quite the same way. So, thanks for recognizing that and being so sympathetic.
Yes, ghosts and astrology are equally ridiculous.
My mom died suddenly a few years ago and a few months after she died, I received an email from her account (!). Turns out her email was hacked, I doubt she reached out to me from beyond the grave to tell me how I could enlarge my penis, being that I am a female and all 🙂 I do however believe in small signs (I believe from God, but whatever your belief is works); however, this was not one if them 🙂
For the couple with the twin beds, they may have already explored this, but they should check out Craigslist pretty regularly. I know that I have given away several pieces of totally decent furniture for free on Craigslist because I didn’t feel like haggling and just wanted it to go to someone who needed it.
Additionally, they may not want to disclose their location, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if there was a fellow listener somewhere near them that had a respectable bed in his or her garage or basement that they would be willing to donate.