New Moms, New Wardrobes w/Daniella Liben Pally!
02.18.15 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Mommy Podcast
Episode 59
Style maven, DANIELLA LIBEN PALLY is back to discuss taking stock of your clothes as a new mom, and what it’s like having kids super close in age (15 months apart!) Before she and Elizabeth dole out their good/bad/funnies (Learning to sniff! New little man of the house! Mom boredom! Potty Training! Not crying wolf after all! First crayon drawling!) before answering listener questions about the pain/healing part of labor and delivery (bubble of peace y’all!), how to handle a family member who seems disinclined to have her children bond with the family, and lastly, what’s the deal with giving kids the father’s last name? Enjoy!
17 Comments!
I just wanted to leave a comment and thank Daniella for talking briefly about her birth stories. I too ended up having a c-section (not emergency but not planned) and sometimes feel like all the Mommies on TM are always speaking about their vaginal births and I don’t really relate personally to any. I definitely related to Daniella’s story of going in for the surgery and all the feelings she described. I was slightly disappointed that Elizabeth didn’t ask her the question from a few episodes ago (she was holding it specifically for a Mommy who had a c-section to answer) about deciding on a VBAC or another c-section and how Daniella came to that conclusion. If Daniella happens to read this comment and would like to reply, I would love to know how you decided to have a second c-section instead of attempting a VBAC. Thanks and great episode!
I just wanted to say after having a child while not married to her father, and giving her his last name, was the worst decision I made. So when i did get married, I kept my last name and when we had a child we did hyphenate it. I figure if my son doesn’t want to have a hyphenated name, he can drop mine. I was just not going to make the same mistake again. Names are just names!
Having my two kids 20 months apart has been amazing so far! Difficult but adorable. And I’ll have to attest to the TV thing, especially with how busy Chet is. We started a bit of TV around 18 months and it has been a lifesaver.
Chet was a very difficult newborn, with colic, and I was expecting the worst with Winston. He has been the easiest baby, and I couldn’t be more grateful. It is so precious to watch them together. I hope you get your second baby soon, Elizabeth!
Also, I just wanted to mention to the mom due in April that recovery is no joke. Go easy on yourself and don’t expect to do anything for at least a week. Those ice pads and granny pants are amazing; raid the hospital and take stuff home with you. They offer it for free. Post-delivery, there wasn’t as much “pain,” but more soreness. Also, there is a lot of bleeding, for several weeks. I didn’t realize that, and it was kind of traumatic. Going to the bathroom is difficult too. I think knowing this stuff is important, because of how much of a mental game it is. It’s so true that the second recovery is much easier, probably because your body knows better what it’s doing and because you’re mentally prepared. Perennial massage once a day 3 weeks before birth and sweet almond oil during delivery worked for me (to avoid tearing), but it is healthy to be nervous. But try not to think about it too much, and have enough family support to help you through it.
Such great advice, Kristin. You are the best 🙂
Padsicles = awesome!
To be even friendlier to Mama Earth and your new mama body…not to mention your wallet! Treat yourself to beautiful reusable pads like Lunapads - pick a pattern that makes you happy in your healing time!
http://www.lunapads.com
(I worked for Lunapads in the past, if you have any questions about what to choose I’m happy to help any of you LaimeMoms!)
Oh wow, I’ve never heard of lunapads, thanks for the rec, Sandra! Such a great product/company!
I would love to hear stylish Daniella’s suggestions for where to buy cute maternity clothes that don’t cost a ton since I’m over 30 and shouldn’t be shopping at h&m!
Agreed and I completely feel you guys on Anthropolgie! it was my go-to from my mid-twenties to early thirties. I gradually began to notice I just didn’t want anything there anymore and sort of stopped going. I had a little aging crisis so I’m glad that Daniella clarified that they have in fact changed their style!
Daniella is the best; Great ep!
Yes! I was coming on here to say the same thing, we need to hear the names of places to get good clothes!! Please hook it up Elizabeth!
This is second hand information but I had a friend who when her and her husband were getting married decided to use a different last name (His mother’s last name) than both of their original last names. Changing your name outside of the first few month after weddings or trying to change both peoples name is kind of a pain. It is a pretty long involved process that has a bit of cost associated with it.
I can’t imagine losing my last name completely so I have looked into this a bit and going untraditional can make the legal side of name changing a bit more arduous.
Yeah, my husband and I have looked in to this too since I’m not changing my last name. It’s how I got my nickname Coco, plus it’s my identity, why should I be the one to have to change because of tradition? Traditions are made to be broken! We thought about combining our last names but that leaves us with Babgrove or Coscock, neither appealing but both are pretty funny. We’re thinking of picking a completely new last name by the time we have kids. It’ll be a pain but at least I won’t be the only one going through it since women deal with the legality of changing names all the time. Glad there are options!
Hi. Enjoyed this show. I am a single mom and my kids have my last name. Also having two close together is hard but as they get older it’s not so bad. Baby dust for you. 🙂
Shelly S.
Oh and about labor and ripping/tearing there is so much going on you will not even think about it.
First of all I just want to say I love all of your podcasts and I love you and your family you’re so funny, sweet and well meaning but I have to admit this episode made me bristle at the judgment of the cost of clothing in relation to age. Not everyone makes a lot of money just cause they’re 30 yrs old. There are a lot of people really struggling financially and 25$ jeans is something some of us have to really squeeze into our budget and for you to say they’re “disposable” kinda feels yucky. This episode kinda sounded a little bit like mean girls the mommy years.
You are so right, Lisa! I thought of this after we posted the episode too… And frankly, I’m in no place to be snubbing that price point of clothes, it’s not like I’m rolling in it! I’m really sorry to have come off as such a snob, there are some great finds out there at lower price points - Nordstrom Rack, Asos, modcloth (asos was my life for maternity wear!) and Target has good stuff… I do think that H&M and Forever 21’s quality is extremely low and find that after a few wears their clothes tend to disintegrate, which is the point I was trying to make - that in the long run, they aren’t even actually better for your budget because they don’t last! I wish I’d discussed that more instead of saying it the way I did. Thanks for calling me out, I am glad someone did!
I laughed at the surnames discussion because my husband has a, er…challenging last name. (oh, okay, I’ll just say it, because I know it will bring at least Elizabeth some joy: it’s Woodcock.) I briefly considered keeping my maiden name, but I don’t really like it, so I went the route of making it my middle name.
And combining our names into one hybrid name wasn’t an option because it would be…Moorecock. Yeah, no.
My hope is that having a difficult last name will be as character-building for our future kids as it has been for my husband and others in his family. He says you just develop a thick skin and an attitude of, “yeah, I’ve heard that one before, what else ya got?”
I am a little behind on listening so I just heard this episode yesterday, but in response to the last name dilemma, Elizabeth, you mentioned not knowing any couples where the man took the woman’s last name after marriage, well I do know of one! I am not going to lie, I was pretty shocked when I heard they were going this route, because I, too, am a traditionalist who grew up dreaming about what my last name would change to someday after I got married. With that said, the husband took the wife’s last name and their kids have wife’s last name - we are all used to it now. It really shouldn’t be such a shock or rarity in society, because like many of your listeners have said, a name’s just a name and there’s always room for new traditions to be made. Just had to share since I have some first hand knowledge of one of these “matriarchal” couples. More power to ’em!
Love your podcast btw! 🙂