Okay so I haven’t read the Japanese tidying book (which means I shouldn’t even comment on it, YET HERE I AM) but I do know there’s a part in which she says she puts her clothes away and tells them “thank you” and “good job.” I can be pretty into the Universe and all that jazz, and I definitely see the good in only keeping things you use and that serve you well. But I draw the damn line at speaking to my clothing.

To the letter writer who is TTC- I’m in a very similar situation as you- I also terminated a pregnancy when I was very young, and my husband doesn’t know. I struggle a lot with telling him, but, unlike your situation, I think he’d probably think it was not a big deal, when to me it was a really big deal. So I keep it to myself. The major difference in our situations is that I’ve had 2 miscarriages in the last 5 months, which makes that whole “Is it because of my past?” guilt even worse. But LeeLee was right- we need to dismiss that guilt, as hard as it is. When you feel it, acknowledge the feeling, then say to yourself, that’s not the truth, and move on.

As for telling people that you’re TTC, there’s no right or wrong way to do it. I told a few very close friends. I told my family I was pregnant (the 1st time) around 9 weeks, and when I found out that it wasn’t going to last a few weeks later, I really needed their support and love. However, I didn’t tell them about the 2nd time, and now every time I see them I feel a sort of silent judgement and speculation (which is totally coming from me, not them) about if I’m pregnant, or why I’m not pregnant again, and it’s sort of unbearable. I honestly don’t want to see or talk to them again until I have good news to share. I should probably just tell them what happened, but I know it would break their hearts… Anyway, my point is, if you tell people, it might be uncomfortable, if you don’t tell people it will be too. There’s really no “right” way. I liked LeeLee’s suggestion of “We’re thinking about it, and when we have good news to share we will”.