Quest For Questions!
03.23.16 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Mommy Podcast
Episode 113
Elizabeth and Vanessa dive right in and give their unqualified advice to listener questions about setting boundaries in a family with mental health issues who are active in your kids lives, whether to sacrifice the mother’s sanity for a child’s athletic endeavors, what to do about the fear of losing yourself to motherhood and letting go of a hard won creative career, how to navigate dealing with infertility when you are surrounded by other people’s pregnancy joy, what we think a grandparents role should be in grandchildren’s lives, and lastly what is a good gift to bring a three month old and their mother? Enjoy!
3 Comments!
I wanted to put in one more thought on the question from the military wife who wasn’t sure how to handle her kids sports. I think the advice you gave on sticking with swimming was great. Definitely keep mom sane - it will make it easier on the kids if mom is in a good place! If her son is really disappointed about not doing the other sports, is there a week long sports camp that he could get signed up for as a special treat to make up for not getting an entire season? There are so many resources for military families to get kids into camp or sports programs and hopefully she could find one nearby. Good luck with deployment and the new baby from another military spouse.
Hi! I’m the military wife with the sports question. Thanks for answering my question! Since I wrote you I have thought so much about this. Also, he had a really great wrestling season and shows a lot of promise.
I think I have decided that he will do swim team, but we will allow him to do wrestling also. It is only a 3.5 month season and practices are only two days a week and by then I should be able to have a pretty good carpool for swim team. In addition, wrestling starts at 4 and my younger son could participate as well. My husband and I both agree that he can miss the other sports for a year. And like you said, maybe he will end up loving swimming even more than the other sports.
Thanks again and I love the show.
Hi Steph the military wife with the sports question! I was listening to your question when I was out for a run the other day. I am a mum of teenagers in the UK; I am a Royal Navy Veteran and my husband is still serving. When my kids were around the age that yours are now, I used to take them both to swimming as it was manageable around my other commitments. That turned out really well as it has saved me a lot of worry over safety over the years (especially when my husband was away and I was trying to watch both of them surfing etc). Once my children were older, having been given lots of opportunities to try things when they were younger, they made their own choices about what they wanted to pursue. My daughter plays underwater hockey and my son does Tae Kwon Do (but is actually much more interested in the theatre - which also keeps him busy and out of trouble, mostly!). I honestly could have done a lot less and they would have been equally fine, but I was busy trying to get it ‘right’, whatever that means! I’d say do whatever you need to do to keep yourself happy and reasonably sane, because that’s the most important thing. Being a military mum you have to sometimes put your own needs first because you are the glue holding the whole thing together - it’s not selfish, but actually the best thing for your family. It’s very interesting now that my kids are older to be able to ask them how they felt about choices I made when they were younger, and it is surprising and really encouraging that they are very understanding (and forgiving!). I wish you all the best with the forthcoming deployment - you are doing a terrific job and I salute you!