Bank Teller Fail!
04.29.13 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 59
Elizabeth and Andy discuss their recent podcast snafu - do not leave notes with bank tellers! Elizabeth also discusses what kept her awake with anxiety last night before answering listener questions about depression, splitting chores, the “dreaded” first year of marriage and a particularly entertaining email regarding concerns about having a baby. Enjoy!
9 Comments!
1. I agree with Andy that your description of your presentation to the students sounds great. Kudos to the teacher for bringing in a range of experiences. I’d hope you were inspiring to the students, but also brought some realism. From your description, you told them how hard it is, including how hard you can be on yourself, but also that you’re sticking with it. That’s something they need to hear.
2. No spanking, ever. It’s abuse. Pure and simple. It was once normalized and common. That doesn’t make it okay. There are lots of other ways to discipline children that don’t require physical abuse. If I was the wife, I’d be worried that her husband thinks abusing their future children is the means of imposing discipline. I’d also be worried that he thinks raising his future children is akin to training their dogs. This guy was funny, but also sounds like a stereotypical macho, aggressive asshole.
I think finding your voice and taking criticism from a writing class/group are different things.
Voice is definitely an intensely personal thing. I think the best way to do it is to read (books, scripts, whatever) as much as possible and try to write a story in the style of someone in the field you admire. You’ll pick up little tricks from every different one.
I also think criticism is insanely useful, you just have to know what you want from the person you’re receiving it from. If you’re getting critiqued from someone who reads/writes a lot, I think a lot of the nitpicky things they’ll touch on will be super helpful. If you’re getting feedback from a person who is a casual reader/writer, the more broad things tend to be pretty useful as these people are more likely to accurately reflect your intended viewing/reading audience. Learning to let go of the precious nature of the things you write is a necessity. I can’t think of any paying job as a writer where other people’s comments and criticisms don’t need to be taken into account.
I’m sure those MFA people loved you Elizabeth. You’re a very endearing person. I’d take a trying-too-hard, dick-joke slinging Elizabeth over any of the professors I had in college.
Also on spanking:
I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a behavioral psychologist who says that negative reinforcement is more effective than positive reinforcement. Pain’s not even the ideal way to train pets or lab rats. Food is way way way more powerful.
Spanking is the idiot way to deal with things.
I have wanted to use physical force with my kids. They can be infuriating, obstinate, obtuse, cruel and selfish. But, as Elizabeth pointed out, I’m a grown man and they are little children. They are also little children testing the world and learning how to live within it. Many of the things we consider ‘common sense’ we had to learn and they’ll have to learn. We haven’t accepted physical violence as a means to learning for a long time and certainly should not deploy it with our own kids.
Also, fuck the ‘my parents spanked me and I turned out okay’ argument. No, you didn’t. You want to use physical force with your future kids, so you’re fucked up.
I think you would be surprised at how inspiring your career path is to people. I have definitely been inspired to follow creative pursuits by hearing you talk about following yours even when it’s tough. Also, I’m a Child development student, so not a professional, but I have taken my fair share of development and psychology of children classes and never have I heard a single reputable person endorse spanking. Anyone who endorses spanking is sharing a personal opinion, not a research based fact. It has been proven that spanking harms kids psychologically.
Elizabeth! Andy! Thanks so much for posing my boyfriend v. partner question to the laimeweds, i can’t believe the response!!!! Honestly, “beau” makes me feel sick to my stomach but I reallllly like “my guy”.
Thanks everyone!!!
You must recap questions as Andy suggests.
Just another voice saying that it sounds like your MFA presentation was great. Being in LA, I am sure the instructor could have brought in seasoned show runners but it’s good for these student to hear different experiences- even though they will have a fancy MFA, that’s no guarantee of anything and they need different perspectives.
Although one day you will be that fancy schmancy show runner!
I feel as though if I were around someone who was (unironically) referring to their significant other as their “beau,” it would not take long for intense feelings of disgust and loathing to bubble up inside me.