30 Day Marriage Challenge!
04.30.13 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 60
E and A read through what might be the funniest 30 day marriage challenge of all time, before launching into a discussion about light things like religion and creepiness. Then they discuss listener questions about comedy writing, differences in philosophies between spouses, bed time conundrums and how to cope when your Mom is suddenly racist. Enjoy!
9 Comments!
You guys are ON FIRE in this episode. Loved it. Great ep.
Not to bring up a sore subject, but am I insane to think that it’s a little bit strange for someone who purchased a dog to be so judgmental of people who purchase dogs?
Hi Khan, Elizabeth has brought this up on the podcast before. I believe it’s the episode called “Confessional.”
Listening to Andy on the show - he is so freaking patient, calm, and understanding - I don’t know how he does it. It seems particularly remarkable considering Elizabeth has publicly announced her tendency to eschew blowjobs…
I mean…poor Andy, right?
I love how every quiz or self-help thing regarding relationships gets immediately shit on. I don’t mean this in a sarcastic way. I really really love it.
But it also really bums me out how much of that wife as servant shit there is floating around out there.
Maybe that’s why Totally Married is so great. It’s nice to see a relationship built on mutual respect.
@Richard: Agreed on the shitting on quizzes, etc. I like that they go into them with total sincerity, try to find something of value in it, but ultimately demonstrate exactly why they’re such horseshit.
I think Totally Married also works because it’s honest. A&E aren’t trying to put on a show of complete relationship bliss. They seem great, but make it clear that they communicate and work and then share with us through the advice. Even when I disagree with the advice, I treasure the honesty as they grapple with the issue.
The 30-day marriage challenge thing reminded me of that classic example that most people have seen at one point or another - it’s described as an excerpt from a 1950’s home economics textbook, telling girls to be obedient to their husbands. Snopes thinks it is maybe legit and has the full text here: http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp.
Also, how did Andy not know what a “honey do” list is??
Hi guys,
I really love the show but I felt compelled to comment here after listening to Elizabeth talk about rescue dogs and pure breed ones. I am all for people rescuing dogs and giving them a loving home, but I just wish in our society we also had that same attitude for giving the thousands of orphaned children all over the world homes as well.
I would say that people adding to the issue of over-population by having their own child is selfish and irresponsible when there are so many unwanted children in the world but I wouldn’t judge anyone for that decision. It’s your right to do so, just like it’s another person’s right to own a pure bred dog rather than a rescue.
We all make selfish decisions and we have our reasons behind them and judging others for those decisions is just hypocritical.
I hope you both aren’t offended by this comment it was just something that I felt needed addressing… it’s an interesting concept in modern society and I’d love to know what other people out there thought of this comparison.
Hi Zoe~ Someone wrote in with a similar sentiment and we addressed in a future episode I believe…
My reaction to this is that it is easy to make this parallel but when you even just scratch the surface of this argument, these are two entirely different issues, and cannot be fairly equivocated (if that is a word?)…
First off, 1/4 of dogs euthanized in the shelters are pure bred so let’s make that distinction. You can just as easily rescue a pure bred as buy one. Both are coming from the same supply, just one funds greed/evil (99% of bought dogs come from puppy mills where other dogs are tortured/neglected, etc and are just seen as commodity) and the other choice saves lives. When you buy or rescue a dog, you are not creating a dog yourself to carry and give life to, you are either putting money into a breeder’s pocket and at the same time killing a dog in a shelter who isn’t getting that home or you are adopting the same, just-as-deserving dog from a shelter and not funding the greed of a breeder. Both involve going to a place, handing over some money, and returning home with a dog. Same experience. Same dog. Vastly different outcomes for animal welfare.
Before i continue, I do want to say that adopting a child is an incredibly noble and wonderful thing, I wish more people did it. But the parallel you are making is faulty at best. Here’s why:
Adopting and creating a child are two wildly different experiences that require wildly different emotional/financial/physical means and responsibilities. Unlike buying/adopting a dog, if you are capable of doing one route, that doesn’t even come close to meaning you are capable of the other.
First of all adopting is emotionally complicated and expensive no matter which route you go. Any adoptive parent will tell you this and will agree that it’s not for everyone. Frankly, making the parallel between buying/adopting a dog and having/adopting a child is offensive to both people who have adopted and people who’ve had biological children. I know this because of the response from listeners when we discussed this on the podcast.
Should you choose the least expensive route of fostering to adopt a child here in the US, it comes with its own complications - the foster system has rules that can be extremely difficult for most people to fit into their lifestyle. Also, many foster children will live in a home for a year and then be placed back in the home of their biological parents - I say this as someone who intends to foster and adopt children in the future (we wouldn’t qualify to now because we only have a one bedroom house) - can you imagine how hard it would be to love and care for a child for a year and then have to let it go back to a precarious circumstance as that? I can’t say that anyone is SELFISH for knowing that they couldn’t handle that sort of emotional cost.
You might say, well that’s fine but what about adopting internationally? Well that is another complicated and emotionally challenging and very expensive route. It also takes a long time and has very intense hoops to jump through. Not many people can do it because they wouldn’t qualify and/or can’t leave the country for six weeks at the drop of a dime and/or a million other reasons. I know we wouldn’t financially qualify right now. I also know we will be amazing parents. It’s not selfish for me to want to have biological children as well as some day foster/adopt when we are financially stable and able to. I’m also not a hypocrite for advocating for people to adopt dogs versus buy them from breeders. Again, in that case you are simply making a choice of where to put your money for the same dog and the same experience. Would you like to give your money to someone who is doing good or someone who is doing bad? There’s no difference. Why not choose good?
So we’ll have to agree to disagree. I will continue to advocate for people to adopt versus buy their dogs, content in my knowledge that I’m not a hypocrite. I’m also not selfish for having a biological child. And someday when my adopted child joins our family I will have no regrets and will pass along to all of my children a love for animals and a desire that they do not suffer needlessly.