How’s It Hangin’!
10.23.13 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 110
Elizabeth and Andy check in after a few days of feeling a little untethered, then they give their unqualified advice on listener questions about leaving a career for family, pursuing a crush when they are a best friend to your best friend, what sort of dog to adopt to overcome a fear, and lastly, how to navigate a changing friendship as the parties are entering different life stages. Enjoy!
8 Comments!
Thank you Andy! I am a stay at home mom! I get so annoyed when I get judged and it was super fun to hear you guys come down on the side of letting families do what works for them! You guys rock
To the guy with the couple friend, I agree with Elizabeth that he should try to branch out socially for his own sake. However, in terms of keeping a connection with this couple, I would try to hang out with them sometimes in the evenings (once their kids are in bed) every few weeks. It can be so hard to hang out with friends as a couple (sans kids at night) once you have kids because everyone is trapped at home unless you coordinate getting sitters. He should offer to buy take-out and a bottle of wine once in a while, and the couple will enjoy the company even if one of them has to go pick him up. He should also offer to babysit (i.e.. sit on their couch after they put the kids to bed) so they can go out and grab a bite together. We have a divorced guy friend who does this once in a while and we love it. We hang out with him for a while before and after we go out and it ends up being a great. If he does this once in a while, they will LOVE him!
I bet boy! My sister says girl. There is a 3 musketeers bar on the line. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as the baby has 10 fingers and toes (and we have kit kats in the house). <3
Congrats on little Lady Laime-Rosen!
Couldn’t be happier for you guys
Hi,
I love you two more all the time. First want to say that you guys model exemplary communication on the show and anyone who doesn’t see that can suck it. I would actually love to hear your philosophy/ history on the evolution of your communication style, as I am newly married and one can always stand to improve in this regard. I am always taken with how you handle conflict on the podcast (Andy should write for a men’s journal and Elizabeth for Oprah Magazine).
Regarding the woman in nursing school who hates it and has financial stability… please do us all a favor and follow your heart, cut your losses, take what you’ve learned and follow your dreams. I just finished nursing school, after such difficulty getting into school, a tough job market (in California), and the dedication it takes to be a good nurse- you have to WANT it! Nurses have their patients’ lives in their hands, it’s an enormous responsibility to take on if your heart’s not in it. There’s nothing wrong with knowing yourself and following your heart (especially if your husband is Bill Gates).
So, DO have the kids and enjoy the luxury of not worrying about the money. If others are haters, they’re just jealous. Kids deserve all the attention and love they can get. Just don’t spoil them with all that moula, make sure they get the life skills they need to function.
Congrats on the GIRL!!!
Hi Laime-wads,
I’m the writer-inner with the couple friends and the recent medical issues. First, thanks, Elizabeth and Andy, for reading and addressing my question. Your advice is greatly appreciated. Elizabeth, I understand your concerns re: the boundaries thing. It’s something I’m aware can be an issue, so I do my best to keep the lines clean and clear. I think the thing I didn’t make clear is that I’m equally friends with both of them and have spent time with both of them individually. Yes, I was a shoulder to cry on during that difficult time, but I’ve also been an attentive ear for the husband, and he and I have a lot in common and love each other’s company.
@FRASIL74, that is definitely great advice. I do have a pretty great circle of friends with whom I spend time and socialize, but I would absolutely consider this couple my best friends. I’ve already provided them with a couple of meals, delivered since I can’t drive, and plan to do so more as they need/allow. We’re also making plans for me to go spend a few days with them, keep the older boy company during the day, and sit up with the baby at night so they can get some much needed rest (or, as you suggested, go out for some couple’s time). It’s something I’m really looking forward to, because I get to be there for them AND get to spend time with the new little guy.
Andy, you’re completely right about me overthinking things. I do that a lot, and cause myself all sorts of grief as a result. I’ve spoken to a therapist about it and I’m doing better with it than I used to, but it still rears its ugly head from time to time.
Thanks again guys. Being able to bring these thoughts to a community of strangers really helps, and I appreciate everything you have to say. And thanks E&A, for committing so much time to such an insightful and helpful show.
To the lady who wants to end her path towards becoming a nurse,
You don’t owe it to anyone to base your major life decisions on their judgements. Being true to yourself is far more inspiring than wearing on your quality of life just to finish what you started. And hey! Maybe you will open a spot for someone who is desperate to become a nurse!! I hope to hear that you followed your heart and the weight falls off your conscience! Andy said it best, “NOT lame at ALL!!”
I’m the writer-inner that was trying to decide whether to leave nursing school, and I just wanted to say THANK YOU so much to Elizabeth and Andy for your clear support, and to the people who posted here. It was especially cool to hear from someone who has taken the nursing path! An update: I have decided to go with my gut on this, and as soon as I made the choice I felt so much weight lift from my shoulders. I’m excited to embrace this choice and move forward. Thanks again everyone.