The the writer with the boyfriend’s sister who suddenly started to hate her - yikes! This is a huge warning sign about being part of this family. Seriously, if your boyfriend is on his sister’s team and blaming you for this, that is not someone you want to spend your life with. Someone who will side with his family against you in an unfair situation like this is not good partner material. (Basically, what Elizabeth said.)

@Elizabeth When I saw your Instagram pic I thought you looked really good and not like one of those women who completely let themselves go when they’re pregnant. So don’t worry about it, but I can see that it must be a hard time if your body is totally changing. Also, you definitely popped! Didn’t you see like a month ago you don’t show yet? So happy for you, and girls rock!

To the girl considering going long distance. I’ve been in a relationship with the best man in the world for almost 7 years now and going strong. When we first started dating, he still went to college while I was working in another city. The second year we actually moved in together. Then he decided to move out of town again for a new job. A year ago, I decided to move to San Francisco to pursue my dreams (I’m from Europe). Now we see each other every two months.

It sucks and honestly, I feel like I’m slightly depressed most of the time because I cannot share my awesome experiences with him. But a reunion is on the horizon, We’re getting married next August. I’ll continue working on my career in San Francisco until then. That being said, I was very hesitant in the first year and there were numerous times when I wanted to break it up. But we just stuck through it. It’s true what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder!

Long story short: you do need to have a long term plan if you want to make it work. You need a goal to work towards. In our case, that’s getting married and buying or building a house. If you don’t know where this relationship is going, it’s hard to maintain it long distance.

Elizabeth! I saw your Instagram, and you look so cute!!! You have that adorable pregnant figure where you look tiny everywhere else except for your sweet little baby bump. Don’t let anyone get you down!

Not to sharp-shoot Elizabeth but I feel that Andy was correct when he was describing electrons in the brain. There is certainly electrical activity in the brain. Electrical malfunctions can cause a lot of disorders like seizures. Even just the normal communication of axon to axon is by way of chemical receptors. Chemical compounds are made up of atoms and atoms contain protons, neutrons and electrons. So I’m like 75% on board with Andy saying that electrons shooting around in our brains will control the device interfaces of the future. (He did make it sound like a stream of electrons firing all over the place in your brain, but I do feel that he’s TECHNICALLY correct.)

That sales woman needs to take a freaking hike. I could not believe that someone who is probably working on commission would make comments like that! I even said “OH HELL NO” out loud in the car when I was listening. Every pregnant woman deserves to be doted on and treated like the goddess that they are! Elizabeth, you are adorable and rockin’ the bump. Fuck the haters, you’re growing a person inside of you AND you look awesome doing it.

In response to the lame sister of the boyfriend. This girl obviously has issues (the sister). My sister in law has been the same with both me and then my brother in law’s new wife. She loved me at first then got very cold, but suddenly warmed up again when the new sister in law came around. She was constantly talking shit on her even though I told her flat out how much I adored my brother in laws then girlfriend. She even tried to get my in laws to try to sabotage the wedding… she cray. I love her but I definitely distance myself from her, and my husband does the same. My advice is what Elizabeth said. Partners are just that, partners. You need to be on each other’s sides. Have some real talk with your partner, tell him how important he is to you and how important his support is. Maybe you could even write a letter to him just to get it all out there. This sister is obviously hurting and has some control issues. she sounds like she needs a lot of attention. It sounds like you are in this for the long haul, so maybe making the best of the situation is what needs to happen. I think maybe treating her with a lot of empathy might work. Maybe say something like “It sounds like you were hurt by something that I may have done, and I am sorry that you felt that way. You are important to me and I consider you a part of my family, so I would love to try and rebuild the relationship.” That isn’t taking blame but acknowledging that she is hurting and validating that it came from you doing something she felt was not kind (even if it was completely unreasonable). If she doesn’t respond positively to that then you did all you could do. You are only responsible for how you react, not how she does. And as long as your boyfriend knows that you’ve reached out to her, he cant really hold you to any higher expectations. I’m a semi-qualified advice giver, almost done with my Masters in Social Work to be a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (therapist!).

Elizbeth, you look fantastic! I was so sorry to hear you’re having body image issues. I imagine it’s a very common thing for pregnant women, especially first time moms. This is easier said then done, but keep in mind you’re creating human life and compared to that a few extra pounds don’t matter!

Elizabeth! You are looking just gorgeous. I had such a hard time with body image issues during my pregnancy that it’s stopping me from wanting another baby. I felt so helpless to the swift and cruel changes my body was making. Since I teach fitness, my expectation was that I’d remain fit and just have a perfect little basketball belly. I had no idea my hips would change so much and that I’d get a silly muffin top. All I wished for was a spanx unitard. I hate how that salesperson spoke to you and wonder why she thinks that’s ok. It’s really hard to have your body morph so quickly while also feeling sick, and freaked out and EXCITED and blessed and amazing and ALL OF THE THINGS and hormones don’t help with all of those emotions. But, as with all things, it’s temporary. In four months you’ll have a sweet little nugget. And your body will slowly return to you. And also no one really talks about how hard it is to get so big, how everyone thinks its ok to comment on it, and how pregnant women are supposed to just be graceful about it and take it. But we’re human beings GROWING HUMAN BEINGS and that is intense shit.
Seriously tho. I saw your Instagram pic and thought you looked stunning. Sorry you had/have so much nausea, and am so relieved that you are feeling somewhat better. I think I speak for everyone when I say your venting and elation are equally welcome and we love being on this amazing journey with you and Andy!

xoxo

Brace yourself Elizabeth!

As some of the other moms here have said and can attest, people think it’s open season on pregnant women, even those who should know better, e.g. women who have been pregnant and/or those who work in maternity stores. I heard some of the rudest comments ever, from things like “how many you got in there?” to “wow, you’re big,” and other such stupid things that come from people with no edit buttons, no boundaries, and apparently no commonsense. But I say, brace yourself because the worst is yet to come from stupid people. You may find people willing to share their most horrifying pregnancy stories, not of birth, but of death. Babies being born sick, mothers having to have hysterectomies, all sorts of Christmas stories that will have you wondering “what the hell is your purpose in telling me that?” But you know, you don’t have to take it. You are strong, beautiful and about to embark on the best journey of your life. Feel free to call people out when they say stupid and insensitive things. If they really tick you off, give it back to them (blame hormones later :-)) but don’t feel bad about yourself. There may come a time when you won’t remember when you weren’t pregnant (around month 8 I said to my husband, was I always pregnant) and this too will pass. And you can’t tell what you’re carrying, if you’re getting wider, it’s just the way your body is adjusting. I didn’t even look pregnant from the back and I have a daughter (I kept being told it was a boy). Let Mother Nature do her work and be proud of every change, nuance and pound. And be well.