Happy Halloweeny!
10.30.13 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 112
Elizabeth and Andy discuss their former ghost, Andy’s recent career magical moment, as well as why they are not doing Jack-O-Lanterns this year. Also, they announce the name of their baby girl! (not really… or really?) Then they answer listener questions about how to keep new adopted dogs from marking in the house, what home remedies to implement when the flu hits, whether or not friends should help you with your online dating profile, how to navigate traveling with parents and boyfriends and dealing with uncomfortable room situations, how to avoid an ex coworker/friendship stalker, and lastly, what to do when there’s no magic happening in the bedroom! Enjoy!
22 Comments!
Happy Halloween! After listening to this episode, I thought I’d share a theory about ghosts and haunted houses that I recently formulated. First of all, I’ve always half-believed in the supernatural because it adds such spice to an otherwise normal existence, but I ain’t seen shit! And how am I supposed to keep believing in ghosts if I’ve never witnessed it first-hand?
I know, Elizabeth and Andy, you’ve had some creepy stuff happen in your house, but it went away (or stopped happening) which is perfectly in line with my theory… which is…ghosts are real. They can and do haunt places where they died or lived but…only if they want to. In other words, if they don’t like you, they are going to haunt the bajeebus out of you so you’ll pack up and leave. Hence, why they may show up in the beginning; they are feeling you out. And, if they are like “oh these people are cool, I wouldn’t mind them staying here.” Then they’re just going to fade into the walls and observe your life without interfering. I mean, imagine it from a ghosts perspective…you’re stuck haunting this house indefinitely, along comes a new family to live in your space and they suck! You just hate everything about them. Are you going to pull out your ghost tricks to try to scare them away? uh, yeah! So they leave, and another family moves in. But these guys are funny and cute and have a really sweet dog PLUS do two podcasts which keep you entertained! Are you going to chase them away? No way! And, understanding that ghosts are scary, even though you are one, you’re going to keep your distance and hope they are really happy there.
So, that’s why I think you haven’t seen Madge in a long time. She likes you! Being that she likes you, and assuming she’s still there, she probably considers herself part of the fam and will watch over your little one to keep her safe. Only inside the house though.
That’s so spooky-sweet!
Crowded Hotel Room!
May I suggest this writer-in’er gets her sister and the sister’s boyfriend on board to form a united front. They can have both sisters in 1 bed and the boyfriend’s in cost or share a bed. Even if the compromise is 2 hotel rooms with the connecting door kept open in the middle. This seems reasonable regardless of age.
I think it’s reasonable for the writer-inner’s boyfriend to be uncomfortable with that level of familial sharing - not everyone is used to it, not everyone wants to do it, and if you’re adults, isn’t it your call where you sleep?
With the parents’ ‘our $$, our rules’ thing, that’s also OK until your children are adults - once you’re independent and mature, you earn your own income and you’ve proved you’re an adult, you shouldn’t really be worried about ‘hurting your parents’ feelings’, they’re adults, too - just explain that you’d be more comfortable paying your own way, and that means you’ll be getting your own room.
If you’re tagging along for the ‘all expenses paid vibe’ then sadly, it’s still their call. If you’re still living at home and they’re footing your day-to-day bills, I’d say it’s their call, too, even if you theoretically could pay your own way.
Not COST…cots!!
Just wondering if the owners of the pooches have a dog door in their house, or can they put in a dog door if possible? It definitely gives the dogs more freedom, and maybe they will start marking outside more than inside. so difficult when one starts doing that, and so the other has to one up them. Good luck!
Oprah’s name is a misspelling of Orpah, one of my favorite facts about OOOOOPRAAAAAH!
Ok - I LOVE you guys. For reals. I listen to both of your casts and I think your relationship is lovely and happy and I want nothing but good stuff happening for you both. BUT (oh here we go, peanut gallery…SORRY!) you guys should get an intern! You both sound a tad burned out - I know E is pregs and Andy is busy…so an intern could really help you guys out. I’m sure you’d have no shortage of applicants.
Today seems like a maybe-missed opportunity to have an ACTUAL horror/scary story/ghost story themed episode, with some preparation beforehand, you coulda had hella crazies writing in. And of course belief VS disbelief in the supernatural could have made for fantastic couple fighting, so it could have def been tied in with your show’s theme.
I know I’m a laymen in regards to this, and I totally hope this doesn’t come off as me being ugly. I know you’re not looking for ideas or anything. I was just thinking an intern could really reignite some umpfh!
Still my fav casters,
xoxo Kim
Their ghost episode last year was so great!
Okay, I had to drop what I was doing to tell you two crazy kids that “Oprah” is a misspelling of the biblical “Orpha”. Apparently, Ms. Winfrey was named by a confused grandparent. You are likely already aware that “Rue” is a contraction of “Ruth”. What about “Orpha Ruth Rosen”?
Re: Online Dating in Portland
I met my boyfriend of 2 years on OkCupid in Portland! It is so totally possible to meet someone rad. Things I would suggest:
-I would say that you’re looking for friends and dating (put both). Shows you’re open for hanging out and maybe things could become more serious down the line.
-Have a few (2-4) nice pictures that show your face/aren’t too jokey or weird. No far away shots or pictures with ex-gf’s.
-In your profile, don’t try too hard to answer all the questions (some of them are dumb). Just answer the ones where an answer comes naturally and don’t worry about being too hilarious.
-Generally, dudes have to send the initial message. It should say something friendly and mention something specific from the girls profile as a jumping off point. It’s totally fine to also mention how awkward/weird online dating is. As a normal looking lady, I receieved like 5-15 messages per day, so I never really bothered to send dudes messages. Don’t feel rejected if you don’t hear back, it’s probs more to do with numbers than anything personal.
-Don’t make your search parameters too small. My boyfriend is ~10 years older than me (something I had never looked for/considered) and I never would have met him if my parameter only let dudes 21-29 message me.
-Just be your normal, chill self on actual dates. Also, don’t give up even if the first date isn’t super great! My boyfriend and I went on 4 dates before we realized we were digging each other.
Maybe all of this is really obvious/subjective, but I am really fascinated by online dating and have spent a lot of time discussing it with my friends and boyfriend. Good Luck!
Re Online Dating
I totally agree with all of Peggy’s comments about online dating! I am a 35-year-old woman in Bloomington, IN (any male laimewads here in Btown? If so, I’d love to get a coffeee!) and I find that everything Peggy said for Portland goes for here as well. Just a few more thoughts on the topic:
Have good photos - ones where you can see your face, and your eyes, very clearly. I am astonished by how many guys just select terrible photos - pics where the only close-up of their face includes sunglasses, so you still can’t see their eyes. Somehow, this is very unappealing to me.
DEFINITELY have a female friend look over the profile - not a dude, and not just any female friend, either, but someone who has done some online dating herself and approaches it with the same basic attitude that you do.
Finally, I don’t use OK Cupid, but I use match (hummingbird764 in Bloomington, IN) - I’d be completely up for swapping profile reviews, if you want! In fact, I’d love it.
I’m the guy who wrote the OK cupid letter and I just wanted to say thanks for all the encouraging tips (and to Elizabeth and Andy). Some were things I suspected but it’s good to have some confirmation. Turns out I’ve been too busy to even go on OKC since that episode but next time I do I’ll do you all proud (and definitely keep an eye out for laimewads/weds).
I’d love to swap profile reviews, but I’m too shy to share it here. I know, I know, Laime!
I am also a single dude in Portland in my 30s doing the OK Cupid thing again. OKCupid is great, I’ve met some really wonderful ladies through the site. Definitely have your female friends take a look at your profile, especially your pictures. It took a long time for my profile to start generating interest from ladies. I still do most of the initial messaging though. You might also want to read the OKCupid blog. It is super interesting. OKC is doing more hard statistical research on human attraction than anyone else.
No worries, Guy in Portland - I seem to have a lower shyness quotient than most
Best of luck!
Doggy Prozac! Call the vet…
http://www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?A=2742&S=2
there are a lot of names that you don’t see much these days for children. i knew an older lady named Omagene when i was young. my great grandmother was Dixie. but i’ve always been partial in my mind that if i had a daughter i’d want to name her Ophelia.
To the girl with a guy who has no sex drive-
He might be depressed and if he is, she should handle his sex drive with sensitivity. It probably has a lot more to do with him than with her, so getting upset at him, might actually make the situation worse.
If he’s not depressed and he’s not willing to look at help options, dump him. If it’s not the sex life you want, there are plenty of men out there.
—
As far as pit bulls in Colorado- in Denver, pit bulls are banned, even service dogs. It’s terrible. That might have something to do with the number of pit bulls in shelters.
I wrote in awhile back with this same problem - my husband got checked out and everything was fine, but once we started going to therapy together we found he WAS dealing with some depression. Andy also suggested the “ticket” advice - i.e. each person takes turns initiating. Our therapist gave us the exact same advice and it really helped. Things still aren’t perfect, but I’ve also come to terms with the fact that my husband doesn’t have a crazy sex drive and I have to put in the effort too. Best of luck!!
Hi guys !
I have to say, love the show but 100% disagree with some of what elizabeth said about the crowded hotel room. A few key details I wonder about is if the couple live together? If they do I think they have more ground to stand on. Also I don’t necessarily think that the vacation is being payed for by the parents. It seems like it’s a bunch of adult family members going on a trip. Probably splitting the costs.
Ultimately I think that if your an adult, especially paying your own way, your parents being upcomfotable with you sharing a room with your bf (something that has no impact on them directly), shouldn’t matter more then your partner being uncomfortable in a first hand kind of way.
Anyways for this trip, suck it up and make it a boys/girls sleepover.
But next trip? Stand up for yourself and your boyfriend. Early on gently tell your mom that you’re excited for the family vacation and you’ll be bunking with your better-half. But don’t worry, you’ll treat for breakfast the next morning.
Just be calm, mature, and congenial about the issue and it may not have to be a big deal.
Regarding the cramped hotel room, I think the boyfriend should suck it up.
It sounds to me like her family is just quirky, and the tradition of sharing a hotel room is something that’s important to them.
I’d hate it too, but I think he’d get in real good with her and her family if he just went with it. Boys/Girls rooms might even be something fun, and if not, it’s going to make for some good stories.
But he and she will definitely need to plan a date night during the trip so they can spend time together.
This all sounds like the premise of a romantic comedy, by the way.
This is for the writer-inner about OkCupid. I agree with the advice to write your profile first yourself, and definitely get some close friends to give you feedback. I’m still friends with many of my ex-girlfriends and even got one of them to check mine out too.
I have been on OKC or Match.com many different times over the years (I’m 37). The response rate can be a little frustrating, for me it averaged about 10% of the messages I sent would receive a reply. I’m shy and have a hard time initiating, so this has always been pretty frustrating.
A few years ago while having some drinks some of my closest friends (a married couple) and I came up with the idea for them to email women for me from my match.com account. They were honest, they said they were emailing for me, that I’m a totally nice normal guy, and that I just have a hard time making that first contact. I know a lot of people will think this is a stupid idea and wouldn’t work. Whelp, they’re wrong. The women of Denver were not put off by this, in fact 50-60% of the women responded positively, a nice change from my old 10%. In the two months that we tried this I probably went on an average of 5 first dates a week. It was an exhausting and expensive two months, but oh what an experience. It just goes to show, trying something different than the other 15 emails a day that the ladies get will help spark some interest.
Unfortunately I’m single again these days, so if there are any Laimewads/weds out here in Denver who want to get some coffee let me know.