To the writer-iner asking about day care … I can completely sympathize with your situation and have gone through it myself with my 15 month old. He got his first cold when he was just 3 months from being at daycare for half day trial run just before I went back to work. We discovered then that even a cold kicks this kid’s butt because he has breathing issues (now pretty much under control) and we ended up in the pediatric ER instead of going on the end-of-maternity leave family vacation we were supposed to take. I will say, he has continued to get sick pretty often from daycare, as compared to my kids friends who are at home and don’t get sick much at all.

But, what I will also say is even with that - I wouldn’t change the daycare experience. For me and my kid, it is INVALUABLE. He is super social, eats so much better there than he would with me or a nanny, and he gets along great both with big kids as well as being very caring with little babies because he’s exposed to them all day long. He also learns so many more skills there than I could teach him just because I don’t know anything about kids - like he now likes to sit at a little table and eat instead of the high chair because that’s what he does “at school”.

You do have to have the right daycare provider and be comfortable that it’s a good learning environment for your child. Also, just make sure to know your backup care plan (either you or your partner being able to take ad hoc sick days from work, or knowing a good babysitter service you can call last minute). But for us the good of daycare far outweighs the bad sick days. And I will say, as time has gone on and now that summer is here - he’s sick less often than before and it does get better.

Also, I truly believe you go through it now or whenever they do get to a school environment (pre-k or kindergarten) just until their immune system builds up, so if daycare works for you guys then you may as well work through the sickness now and just really enjoy the in between times when she’s healthy and happy. Good luck!

To the writer-inner with the baby who doesn’t sleep - you are NOT alone! My sweet, wonderful 15 month old boy has never been a good sleeper and I’ve been through a whole range of emotions/breakdowns because of it. I, too, have listened to other friends talk about how well their babies sleep and felt feelings of anger, sadness and guilt because I thought this was somehow my fault. Our personal parenting philosophy doesn’t support the idea of “sleep training” or letting our child cry (that’s not a judgement against those who do - it just doesn’t work for our family) and many people have told me that, because of that, the only person I can blame is myself. Here’s the thing - it is NO ONE’S FAULT! Each child is different and, like Elizabeth said, they all have their “thing”. Unfortunately our culture puts so much attention on sleep that having a “bad” sleeper seems like the worst possible thing to deal with (aside from REAL issues like diseases, etc). What I’ve learned is to be kind to myself, rest when I can and ask for help. That and co-sleeping have saved me. Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone but most people who say that have kids that sleep 🙂 Just do what you need to to survive and remember this won’t last forever. About 3 months ago my son started sleeping through the night about 1-2x/week. It’s been a game changer and makes me realize that we WILL get through this. You are doing a great job and your child is lucky to have a patient, caring mom!

Two side notes:
A) I read an article recently that said something like 33% of parents in the US lie about their child’s sleep habits because they feel like people think parents of children who don’t sleep well are doing a bad job. So keep that in mind…some of your friends are probably lying!
B) If you are interested, there is a great group on FB called “Sleepy Littles” filled with literally thousands of members who have “bad” sleepers. They are anti-cry it out, though, so if that’s not your cup of tea you may not be interested. Point being, there are plenty of us out there dealing with the same thing and having a community to commiserate with has been helpful!