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Let’s Make It Official w/Vanessa Ragland!

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Totally Mommy Podcast

Episode 90

Big Totally Mommy news - introducing the latest bi-monthly permanent cohost for your listening pleasure, VANESSA RAGLAND! We adore her so much, just had to make it official! She’s here to discuss work-in-Bulgaria related weaning, and our good/bad/funnies (Starting daycare! Smooth travels! Crying at daycare! Eating at daycare! Crying upon seeing mama! Fishy faces!). Then we give our unqualified advice to listener questions about feeling cracked open and worried in motherhood, what items we’d recommend for a registry (check out our recommendations HERE) how to navigate choosing guardianship for your child, what to do when your husband isn’t quite ready for kids but you are, and lastly, how to approach a delicate grandparent jealousy between in laws? Enjoy!

15 Comments!

Elizabeth says:

I just listened to the question about God parents/legal guardians. I think the writer inner is confusing those two terms.

God parents are a social custom that often have to do with helping to guide a child in a spiritual capacity. I know they have specific duties in the Catholic church, but as I’m not Catholic, I can’t really speak to that.

A legal guardian is a person(s) you elect in your will to take care of your children in the event of your death. It would be perfectly acceptable, and I’ve even heard it recommended, to name one person as the legal guardian. That way, the event of a divorce, your ex-sister-in-law or your friend’s ex-husband doesn’t end up with legal custody of your child. As for how to address it, just ask them together as a couple (or your friend one-on-one) that you’d like for them to be the legal guardians in case anything were to happen to you. There’s no need to specify when you’re asking that only one of them will be named in the will. It would only come out if you were to both die, and then if they’re still married and the spouse wants to gain parental rights, he or she can apply to adopt the child.

Lindsay says:

I’m so excited to hear that Vanessa will be joining on a regular basis! The two of you together are so great! Just wanted to thank you for answering my question on today’s show - you both made me feel so much better…or at least reassured that I’m not alone 🙂 As always, your show is the best!

K says:

So happy Vanessa is joining!

For the Canadian postpartum mom, have you tried a vitamin D pill? Google / talk to your doctor. It can help with mood because as you go farther north, you get less naturally. It’s an easy place to start, at least.

Bridget says:

Re the lady with the husband in the Navy - if he wants to have kids at some future date, I don’t think it is unreasonable to want to pursue the idea on your timescale. No one is EVER really ready for a baby, and as someone married to the British Navy myself I can say that the lion’s share of the parenting will most likely be done by the non-serving partner. Definitely something best done with a support network in place. The Navy dictates such a large part of life for serving families that it is important for any non-serving partner to have a say in the areas that affect them. My husband and I had our first baby (unplanned) while we were both serving, and while it took some adjustment, 15 years later we are still happily married with 2 teenagers. Basically having kids ruins your life but also makes it! Best of luck to you both.

Denise says:

I have three children and I could not live without a swing first child I didn’t have one for but i learned the second time around now with my five month old I am so happy it was one of the only things i remembered to get and am thankful i did fisher price makes a really nice one not to expensive at all

Daina says:

I started listening to Pop My Culture after hearing Vanessa’s first Totally Mommy episode and wanting to hear more of her. I have now listened to every episode of both shows, and I still want more! This is spectacular news!

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