Sweet, sweet independence w/Alexis Jaeger!
09.30.15 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Mommy Podcast
Episode 91
Hip hip hooray! Our only official “qualified” guest to give advice is here - newly CA licensed psychotherapist ALEXIS JAEGER is back to discuss our good/bad/funnies (Time away! Work is legal! New baby anxiety! Feeling unorganized! Teddy’s reaction to our return! Four year old’s wisdom!) before giving our advice to some doozie listener questions about whether or not to suggest adoption to a struggling mother to be, and what are the right questions to ask when exploring whether or not to have a child? Enjoy!
6 Comments!
I think the reasons for having children are selfish. It’s always ‘I want/I wanted’.
Nothing wrong with having kids of course, but we must admit it’s not for the child’s sake but for the parents.
To the writer-inner, I had a “free loading” situation with a step-sister-in-law. For me, my reaction to her was pure jealously. She is completely financially taken care of (free house, healthcare and free babysitting). I was so irritated by the situation since my husband and I both work full-time. I ended up telling my father-in-law he was an enabler and she has no reason to be motivated to support herself. I was right, 5 years later she still lives in a free 2000 square foot home in Southern California. The reality is some people are totally fine being financially dependent on other people. And if she had drive to achieve something, she will/would.
I’m glad I said something but it changed the relationship. We wanted to distance ourselves and kids from bad role models and just the overall dysfunction of my father-in-laws 3rd wife.
Once you say it, there are no take backs.
To the writer-inner deciding to have kids: this is one of the best pieces of writing I have read on that same dilemma. Hope it helps!
http://therumpus.net/2011/04/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-71-the-ghost-ship-that-didnt-carry-us/
(Sugar is Cheryl Strayed).
Great episode, ladies!
oh my gosh, I love this! Thank you for sharing!
Whoa. Thanks, JSass. This is wonderful.
I think you guys had great advice to the LW who wasn’t sure about having kids or not. A lot of people only tend to think of the baby/toddler stages when having kids, and that part only lasts a teeny bit in the grand scheme of things. Hopefully, you’ll have 50+ years with your children. Being a baby is only a small fraction of that. I love the adult relationship that I have with my parents so much, and that’s one of the things I really look forward to, in terms of starting my own family.