Gobble Gobble!
11.23.15 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 228
Happy Thanksgiving Laimeweds!! We discuss our families Thanksgiving traditions as well as our individual journeys with the documentary “The True Cost” and a fun drinking game called “power hour”. Then we give our unqualified advice to listener questions about setting up boundaries with an ex- mother in law who is still in your kids’ lives, whether or not to pursue an old flame who lives in Australia, what sort of audio - music/podcasts - to listen to during a road trip honeymoon, and how to handle a drama-seeking bat shit crazy future mother in law? Enjoy!
13 Comments!
The road trip couple looking for listening suggestions should listen to the podcast “Switched on Pop” - they deconstruct pop songs by different artists and point out what they are doing musically to make you feel what you feel (why this song makes you want to dance, how this song makes you want to cry, how the arrangement supports what the lyrics are doing)…it’s super interesting, even if you think you don’t care about the artist they are talking about.
Another fun idea would be to find cover versions of songs they like done by artists in the style their significant other likes - a folked up pop song, a rock version of a country song…there are so many covers out there, I’m sure the material is out there!
Buying ethical clothing has been on my mind so much lately, I’m so glad you brought it up! We try to be very conscious consumers but one aspect of our life we really haven’t evaluated is our clothing sources (although we do in general try not to buy a lot). I agree that when I buy something and see “Made in…” I really question the practices and conditions behind the label and feel guilty but it’s time to act on those feelings instead of just going for the cheapest price.
I recently purchased from WildlyCo which is ethically made children’s clothes and am super happy with them, check them out! Other brands I am looking at for myself or my kids are Boden and Everlane. Also, The Art of Simple has a great resource list for ethical shopping: http://theartofsimple.net/shopping/
In addition, I am looking to buy slightly more expensive pieces with the thought that I will create a capsule wardrobe of timeless, quality pieces and then not buy clothing for some time, until I have a real need for something. Would love to hear updates on this if you find brands you want to support!
Awesome! I love this! I had no idea Boden had ethical practices, so happy to hear that. Everlane is a great one too. I’m with you on spending more on fewer pieces of good quality. I’m excited about how I’m going to shop now, moving forward
Thank you so much!
I think it is awesome and wonderful to support company’s making the right decisions and following good practices. That being said, the best way to make a big impact on making low impact in terms of environmental reasons, is to shop at second hand stores. You are rescuing beautiful clothes in pristine condition from landfills, and hopefully limiting the production of new clothes, if you are consistently making the choice to not buy new. Nothing is being produced for you, and you are participating in a very important part of being kind to the environment - reduce, and reuse! You can also find great sustainable brands at thrift stores, at a fraction of the cost of retail. My stuff is a mix of designer jeans, eco-friendly t shirts, and dresses that fall into every category.
For some reason, many people seem to think of second hand shopping as being “dirty” or for poor people. I can guarantee that nearly every item of clothing you will find at a thrift/consignment store will be MUCH cleaner than buying it new. That item has already been washed and cared for. It still can’t hurt to give it another wash before you touch it to your skin, but it is a much safer bet than right off the rack. New clothes are often treated with all kinds of gross chemicals, the fabrics are thrown about on the floors of factories, stepped on, treated with no respect at every level throughout the manufacturing process. I would never touch something like that to my skin without a thorough washing. And screw people who think it’s for poor people, it’s for people who are making a conscious decision to live and dress in line with higher values. And you can afford way bigger names if you have something to prove, or if you just like designer. Nobody HAS to know that you bought it second hand. But I am quite proud to shop nearly exclusively at thrift stores.
This is especially important with baby clothes, why waste money on buying clothes that your baby will wear once-4 times, before you get rid of it. Save it from the landfill in the first place. There are so many wonderful second hand stores geared towards babies and children’s clothes.
Elizabeth, I have a long list of my favorite second hand stores in LA, if you ever want them. Here are just a few: It’s a Wrap in Burbank on Magnolia, takes costumes from movies and tv (some are labeled from which set they came from) this is the best place to buy dresses for attending weddings, dresses in general, winter coats, and lots of nice cashmere. It’s very far from you, but it is a wonderful concept with great pieces : Give + Take Swap Boutique in Santa Monica. It is like a rotating closet of beautiful pieces, so you don’t have to feel guilty over falling out of love with a piece after one or two wears. Sunday’s Best Thrift Apparel in Echo Park is great for basic and colorful items. And Jet Rag in Hollywood is great for everything, a collection of bizarre and normal and lots of cow boy boots. They do an event on Sunday mornings where everything out front is $1.
I hope you, and many more people, will consider this! Thanks for reading my second hand sermon.
This is such awesome info - thank you Jen! I definitely want to lean into 2nd hand retail, especially for the kiddos
I thought it was funny how the two mother-in-law questions were kind of similar, yet E+A gave different responses. In the first, the ex-husband was a trashbag for cutting ties with his mom for being overbearing, and in the second, it was suggested that he set up boundaries or distance themselves from his over involved mom. Not that I don’t agree with the advice given, considering they’re two completely different situations, but the advice almost contradicted each other. I know not all mothers-in-law are the worst, but examples like this (and sometimes my own) are so frustrating!
The difference, from what I can remember from the episode, is the child being involved in the whole scenario. That changes everything!
I love when you guys suggest other podcasts and things to listen to! You are the reason I started listening to Serial, and This American life!
OMG Mystery show!! I listened to all of the episodes yesterday. and now im sad that its over. I hope she has more soon. I found myself smiling the whole time I was listening
great recommendation.
Ohh man. Yeah, the boyfriend with the mom who’s bonkers, he needs to start separating her from his life…probably gradually, since it seems like she’d freak out, but definitely try to contact the bank to get her taken off his account. Could he even tell the bank that her removing the money was fraud, or press charges? I have no idea, since he probably signed off on her being on the account, so he might not have that right…but yeah, yikes. She sounds like a piece of work.
Forgot to add: listen to the podcast Coverville! It has covers of all kinds of songs (pop, rock, punk, etc.) in all kinds of genres. Some are pretty weird, but there’s bound to be some that you guys both dig in the mix!
I am obsessed with the podcast You Must Remember This, about forgotten Hollywood stories. It’s SO good!
My BIL cut ties with his mom because she is bat shit crazy. I wish my husband would do the same. My husband has stopped talking to her on occasion throughout the years and I have blocked her on my phone from receiving phone calls or texts for a time (recently removed the block) and yet she is still somehow in our lives. My BIL and wife swear they will never allow my MIL to have any relationship with their future children (for some legitimate reasons I don’t feel comfortable saying on here and totally agree with them on this decision).
I think for my husband he feels almost sorry for his mom and he also knows that our kids have come to love her. I honestly am scared of shit she might be telling them. They are in elementary school and are very impressionable. Both my husband and I have talked about how we wished she would move away.
For me since my husband and I have been together so long (over 15 years) I have come to just ignore everything she says or give a totally vague answers to her questions. However I worry about the effect she is having on my children especially my daughter.
I would hope the son of the mom that told the cabin rental place that he stole the money thinks long and hard about his life. Yes she is his mother but that doesn’t gives her the right to act like she did. She told the girlfiriend to mind her own business but then sticks her nose in their business. It is hypocrisy. This type of behavior will never end. It is who she is. I know the writer-inner loves her boyfriend but this will be her life if her bf doesn’t set boundaries or learn to say no to his mother. It is a huge contender for a deal breaker.
I know Andy was pissed at the son of the ex-mil that sat with the ex-dil and her new husband during the football games while her own son refused to have anything to do with her. We really don’t know why he is estranged from her and it could be for a very compelling and horrific reason. I know I have enough to disown my mil. I’m not sure why she is coming over to their house so often past her welcome. If the ex-dil thinks her kids should have a relationship with the grandkids then put that on the mil (assuming you trust her). She should be the one to get the kids to spend time with them on her own time, not theirs. I’m assuming the football games are for kids in jr high or high school. If that is the case leave it up to the kids if they want to spend time with grandma outside their home.
It is very true that if you don’t setup boundaries these type of people they will take over your life or make those decisions for you. My heart goes out to both couples.