What’s The Deal With Priests?
02.29.16 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 238
Elizabeth and Andy dive into their (not so) deep questions about priesthood and everything that comes with that line of work as well as discuss other friends whose careers have been surprising. Then they give their unqualified advice to listener questions about what parts of parenthood should appeal to you before deciding to have kids, how to navigate family visits when your parents have four ill-behaved dogs, and how to navigate conflict in a relationship with an over-communicator? Enjoy!
14 Comments!
My best friends dad just finished his first year at the seminary. He is probably close to 60, was married, had a son, and got divorced. He spent most of his life as a health care worker, allowed us to use his bachelor pad as a party house and makes the best gin and tonics. This past year he decided to study to enter the priesthood. I’m not sure if things in the Catholic world have changed, but this guy lived a full life, family and all, and is now starting the path to priesthood. Not sure if that answers any questions, but it is one perish scenario I am familiar with! 😃
Just want to chime in on the priest discussion. A couple of years ago, this guy became a priest after his wife died and was on the news. He had like 7 kids and 30 grandkids, so he lived a full life and then got called to become a priest in the Catholic church.
Love the podcast! You guys always make my Mondays better.
A man can become a Priest if they have had sex. I have known people to become Priests who are widowers and all their kids have grown and when they were young and just having sex. You can be forgiven but it is more than just confessing you have to truly want to be forgiven.
Also chiming in that a priest could have had sex before joining the priesthood, and taking the vow of celibacy. As for nuns, I do think the sisterhood is dwindling, but also I went to a Catholic school and the order of nuns did not wear habits. They wore street clothes so you wouldn’t know they were nuns out on the streets!
100% agree with Elizabeth on the smothering boyfriend. I actually had a big red flag pop up when the question was read! His constant communication is a controlling behavior. It could just be that he is an insecure person, but I agree - keep an eye on this kind of behavior.
I also heard warning bells in my head when they read that question!! She needs to get out, I think.
Lisa Ling did an Oprah show special where she visited a convent of young nuns to see what their lives are like. It was pretty interesting!
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Lisa-Ling-Spends-a-Day-in-the-Life-of-Nuns-Video
I was also going to mention the Lisa Ling Documentary! I watched it on Netflix.
I wanted to also mention that I completely agree with your sentiments on how important finding interests are. I’m married with no kids, and even though I have a full time job, I find myself with a lot of free time. I don’t have any major interests in my life (that sounds so ‘laime’) but I am working on it because i know how important it is in obtaining self-fulfillment. Would love for you guys to explore this topic more!
My parents have told me they knew of a married (I think Episcopalian) priest who decided to convert to become a Catholic priest. He was allowed to remain married under some kind of strange loophole. I doubt that this happens very often.
Also, from what my parents tell me, the number of nuns in this country is dwindling. Many orders of nuns only have elderly nuns left.
Elizabeth, you may not want to talk about animal deaths anymore, but I wanted to let you know I share your guilt and you’re not alone. I grew up in a household with a lot of pets and have some unintentional blood on my hands as well. As a baby, I accidentally stepped on our parakeets tail (he became super cranky and only liked my dad for the rest of his life after that). When I was 5, I accidentally broke another parakeet’s leg (my dad was pissed that the vet charged hundreds of dollars for a bird cast that was only a piece of cardboard with a staple in it). And then when I was a little older, my obese bunny died of heat stroke when we let her outside to play for a bit. I think if you’re a kid with pets, and you’re learning to take care of another living creature (and your parents are maybe not keeping an eye on things all the time…), some traumatic deaths occur. As much as I want to say to you that you don’t have to carry the guilt, I know I still do myself! I think these early experiences can make a person a more compassionate animal guardian in adulthood. 🙂
I loved your discussion on health and enthusiasm later in life and it reminded me of this study I read about how important friendships are for women, and that strong friendships can actually be a health indicator for women later in life. . Interestingly, they found that a greater indicator of health for men is if they are married (though the article does say friendships are important for men too). The whole thing is a pretty interesting read:
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/health/science-confirms-that-women-reap-health-benefits-from-friendships/
Anyway, another great episode. Thanks for making my commute an almost enjoyable experience on Mondays!
We saw a group of nuns playing in a park a couple weeks ago! Definaltely did a double take!
I had to join in the nun conversation too. I read this amazing autobiography called Forever and Ever Amen about a woman who chose to become a nun in the 60s.
http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Ever-Amen-Karol-Jackowski/dp/1594489378
She mentioned that there was some rule changes in the 80s and 90s that nuns aren’t required to wear the full habit anymore and can just wear modest street clothes. So maybe you see nuns all the time but just don’t realize it!
Interesting article about who is voting for Trump: http://www.vox.com/2016/3/1/11127424/trump-authoritarianism
tldr; a certain faction of Americans (“authoritarians”) are so scared of social progress (gay marriage, etc.) and outside threats to their livelihood (terrorism, etc.), that they need a “strong,” brash, punitive candidate that will keep society from changing and strong arm possible threats, no matter the cost.
I can identify with the person who had the question about how to deal with visiting her parents when their level of home cleanliness differed from her own. My parents and I have the same issue- I didn’t want to make them angry or hurt their feelings, but when my wife and I traveled across the country to visit them it was exhausting to feel like the first thing I needed to do was to clean when I got to their house so I could feel comfortable. We typically stay about a week when we visit since we live so far apart and I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable the entire time. One thing I found very successful this past trip was that I “gifted” them a Groupon for two hours of house cleaning and arranged it for the day before we visited. The parents loved it, and the place was much more comfortable for us past visit! Maybe something like that could help with the situation??