The 2nd Kid Itch!
05.30.16 | Share: Share on Twitter Share on Facebook
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Totally Married Podcast
Episode 251
Elizabeth and Andy discuss how having a second kid has affected their marriage, why she thinks she’s more influenced by his opinions than vice versa and why male OBGYN’s do what they do! Then they give their unqualified advice to two listener questions about a husband not presenting child saftey concerns to his parents as a united front with his wife, and how to cope with losing your mother just as your are getting married and starting a family? Enjoy!
22 Comments!
Ah! All the pube talk just as I was making some food. Needless to say this pregnant lady lost her appetite 😳
Elizabeth-
My dad died the day before I turned 18. When I was late in my college experience and watching all of my friends pair off-some of them getting married-I realized that none of the men that I knew or was interested in knew my dad and I hated that. It broke my heart that I would probably go on into my life, likely married to someone who didn’t know my dad. I broke up with my mean boyfriend who didn’t know my dad and didn’t seem interested in him.
Fast forward 8 years and the man who lives two floors below me in my apartment building also happens to be the son of my dad’s best friend. And we happened to fall in love and we got married a year ago. I felt my father so strongly on that day. To be surrounded by not only my family but HIS family who knew and loved my dad, too. He was so heavy at that event and he’s heavy in my marriage.
There have been nights when we sit on the couch with my feet in my husband’s lap and we are able to share beautiful stories of my dad. He cries just as much as I do. And to hear Andy get emotional talking about your parents in this episode made me feel so grateful for myself but also made me feel so happy for you, Elizabeth, to have a partner who so wholly gets it.
Thank you for your vulnerability, today.
Oh wow, I’m sorry for your loss too Libby. I love love love this story, so sweet. Thank you for sharing.
I do not have an OBGYN that is male, however I know someone who had a male doctor. She likes them a lot more because they do not treat her like her symptoms are just part of being a woman.
She said every woman doctor she saw, they told her her pains were normal. Fast forward, she sees a male doctor and she has a severe case of endometriosis.
It might not be all sexual, they may be more helpful than women. 🙂
In my personal experience of 25+ years seeing an ob/gyn, I prefer male doctors by A LOT. The females generally blow me off and are a lot rougher. Also, the reason to be an ob as either gender is the money - they notoriously make more money than most other outpatient specialties (except plastic surgeons).
ANDY! Dude you gotta get with the manscaping program!!!!! 7inch pubes are totally unacceptable 😂🙈
I was laughing so hard when he just casually dropped this bomb of having 7 inch pubes and moved on like that is no big deal!
Omg you need to simmer down about the pubes. and everything else. Poor Andy trying to navigate your neuroticism. Let it go. Let it all just go.
oh lawd jesus. I was getting worried when it appeared there were no sad men commenters out there outraged by a woman having a need or opinion in her relationship and handling it with humor and communication which both she and her husband thoroughly enjoyed… I was like, has the internet died? Thank you, Danny boy for saving the day!
Danny, have you ever cleaned a bathroom? It’s fucking annoying to try and rinse all those stupid hairs down the drain so you don’t get them all over your cleaning rag. I have long (head) hair and make it a point to not leave long strands of hair all over the place so it’s easier to clean the shower. Maybe if you had to put up with cleaning up after someone all the time you might understand Elizabeth’s frustration. This is a relationship podcast and conversations like this happen when a couple chooses to address their frustrations rather than suppress them.
Thank you baby Jesus that a man has come to put a woman in her place for complaining about a totally reasonable issue! PRAISE HIM! Also why the **ck is “Danny” listening to this podcast? SHAME ON YOU DANNY! - (written by a silly Jew who thinks Danny is some sort of confusing troll)
Perfect response, Elizabeth 🙂 I related so much to that conversation (how do they not notice or care?!), and I’m sure there are similarly small things that I do that drive my boyfriend nuts. I’m pretty sure if Andy felt that you were beating him down, he would have said so, instead of cracking up as usual. Also, the conversation about cups and him admitting that he’s now noticing how many he leaves around was abnormally gratifying and encouraging to me, haha.
Hi Elizabeth and Andy, great episode!
I was cracking up while you two were googling the gender ratio dick doctors aka urologists and so on. Then I ended up crying listening to you both talking about Elizabeth’s parents, and the writer-inner’s mom who passed away recently.
My mum (I’m not from good old USA!) died from cancer a few years ago and I don’t have a partner, so I feel sad sometimes that whoever I end up with won’t know her. When Elizabeth spoke about the pain no longer being a part of her memories of her mom, that really resonated with me. I think about my mum all the time, I miss her and sure, I wish things were different, but the sadness about her actual death doesn’t overwhelm me any more. I think more about how funny she was, how my brothers and I love language and reading because of her, and how we always knew we were loved by her. I hope the writer-inner is doing OK, it’s hard.
Elizabeth, I also wanted to say that you’ve done a great job sharing who your parents were with Andy so he has a clear picture of them and what they mean to you, and you’ve also done a great job of sharing them with us as listeners too. Thank you.
x
I’m very sorry for your loss (and the writer-inner’s, and Elizabeth’s). My dad died two years ago and I was ugly crying into my fruit flies (I’m a research scientist) during that segment. Hugs to anyone feeling that grief and fear!
Thanks, JL! I’m the writer-inner. Your comment (and Elizabeth’s) gives me so much hope.
Ahhhhh - the convo about leaving things around the house. The glasses of water, the condiments… in my house it’s crumpled paper towels! It drives me insane. And he never even notices they are there… sigh.
I definitely had the disgusting shedding roommate - the craziest thing was that his toothbrush would accumulate a literal sculpture of brushing backwash mixed with hairs, I felt like I needed to throw up every day. I was so happy when he moved out.
And I completely agree with you on the clothing influences E, I have had the same convo with my husband, more than once. His first influential comment was on my blue velour tracksuit, which was dubbed “the grandma suit” in our first month of dating! If I did not have a very good sense of humor we might not have made it past that one, but of course I never wore the g-d thing again. I can’t wear pink because of this guy who dresses the same way our 3 year old son does will barely throw out a pair of socks when I tell him it’s time.
My grandfather was an Ob-Gyn and he said he specialized in it because it was the one field of medicine that “usually had a happy ending” (no pun intended).
That’s actually really sweet, I’ve never thought of it that way.
My favorite past of the doctor googling was when when either Andy or Elizabeth made a comment about what the listeners would think about it. I was driving in my car at the time and I was very grateful that you googled the answer to those questions because I was curious but knew I’d forget to look it up when I got home. Thank you!
I just loved this episode!
First off, I had a male gynecologist doctor who was a specialist when I was a young teenager for a surgery I needed, and I remember being SO embarrassed because I was 14 and he was really cute and he was dealing with some sensitive parts of the body. I remember when we had a follow-up, he seemed to sense my embarrassment and he said, “And the best part is you never have to see me again!” I’ll definitely stick to female gynos the rest of my life!
Also, the segment about the mom passing away really tugged at my heart strings. I’m absolutely someone who calls my mom about everything, from how to cook salmon to figuring out if the house plant I want will live above my fridge. It really made me stop and realize how lucky I am to have my parents and to never take that for granted. I know you both aren’t necessarily religious, and I hope this isn’t an unwanted comment, but I have a strong belief that we do get to be with our loved ones after this life, and I think about that a lot when my loved ones pass away.
Anywho, you guys are great and I look forward to every episode!